I used to work with this mean miserable guy and there were so many times a lot of us would try to cheer him up. Share food, invite to after work drinks, movies, concerts, just include him. He never took anyone up on it, ever. After a friend of mine left that job and confronted him about his shitty attitude and self alienation, he just said, “I don’t want your pity.”
Ironically, after I heard that I stopped sympathizing and did just pity the guy.
Maybe he just didn’t want to hang out with you guys and had a perfectly fine life outside of work. Crazy, I know.
I sincerely hope he does, but I think it’s pretty sad that someone conflates kindnesses with pity.
I often don’t want to hang out with coworkers. I just politely decline if asked affirmatively. There’s no reason to decline and say, “I don’t want your pity” since I assume they’re just to be inclusive and friendly. I know a lot of people on here have a hard work/life separation, but you do have to exist with your coworkers for some portion of your life. Might as well make interactions with them pleasant.
