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Maybe he just didn’t want to hang out with you guys and had a perfectly fine life outside of work. Crazy, I know.
I sincerely hope he does, but I think it’s pretty sad that someone conflates kindnesses with pity.
I often don’t want to hang out with coworkers. I just politely decline if asked affirmatively. There’s no reason to decline and say, “I don’t want your pity” since I assume they’re just to be inclusive and friendly. I know a lot of people on here have a hard work/life separation, but you do have to exist with your coworkers for some portion of your life. Might as well make interactions with them pleasant.