Stick to the training, your brain will figure out the rest. Unless you’re missing self-preservation instinct, your brain will do its best to survive and avoid psychological trauma.
That includes trauma from killing others, you will dull in time naturally.
Important note: you will get psychological trauma, there’s no way to avoid that. Your brain will put up some defenses (the kind of the defenses is highly individual) to prevent the trauma fucking up your life in the short term, but it will fuck you up in the long term. Only therapy can help there, though it’s very unlikely to be cured entirely at all.
If you go to war and get traumatized, find a therapist as fast as you can. The longer the trauma is untreated, the deeper it becomes part of your personality. And by that I mean really as fast as you can. If you get a chance to speak to a therapist 20 minutes after you go through something traumatic, do it, even if you feel like you’re managing. If you can’t access one that quickly (which is likely during an armed conflict), do it as soon as you’re able to.
Not that I wouldn’t welcome UK back (under equal conditions to all new-joiners, of course), speed-running is not something EU is capable of. Nor is UK. They will not like having to accept the same deal everyone else has to when they had a lot of exceptions for everything. It will take ages before some kind of agreement is reached.
That guy is great. But nothing beats his JS developer interview: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Uo3cL4nrGOk
why they would want to pass trauma onto me
It’s not like it’s intentional, usually. Everyone has a different way of coping with trauma and sadly, one of the brain’s most usual defenses is repeating the same behaviour, because that makes what happened normal - if I do it too, how could it be something bad?
People who do that need a therapy to stop repeating the abusive behaviour, but as with alcoholism, the first step is to admit you have been abused. You would be surprised how many people don’t get past the first step. And that’s how abusive behaviour in people who are not necessarily psychopaths occurs.
As an aside, being a psychopath (not a sociopath, that term doesn’t exist in psychology) is also a defense mechanism, although one on the extreme side of things and it’s generally incurable past a certain age.
Good luck! I did the same recently. I wrote my own blog system, though. I can share it with you, but I’m not sure it’s the best for anyone else, there were some shortcuts taken given I did not intend to share it.
You can check out my blog and let me know whether you want to try it: https://chrastecky.dev/ (or federated: !programming@chrastecky.dev, !3d-printing@chrastecky.dev, !gaming@chrastecky.dev).
PHP_EOL depends on your host system, it’s
\r\n
on Windows.I don’t really want to use what Lerdorf intended, PHP <= 4 was horrible, 5.x was mainly getting slowly rid of nonsense and with 7.x PHP started its slow path of redemption and entered its modern era.
While Lerdorf’s vision was great at that time for its intended use case, I wouldn’t want to build anything serious in it.