Summary

Marcy Rheintgen, a 20-year-old transgender college student, was arrested at the Florida State Capitol after intentionally entering a women’s restroom in protest of the state’s transgender bathroom law.

Civil rights lawyers say it is the first known arrest under such laws in any U.S. state.

Rheintgen faces a misdemeanor trespassing charge and could face up to 60 days in jail.

Florida is one of only two states to criminalize such acts.

  • @PunkRockSportsFan@fanaticus.social
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    27910 days ago

    They stopped that woman from peeing in a toilet.

    Good job. The children are safe.

    From her.

    Not from school shooters tho. They are still in terrible danger from them.

    But at least they won’t have to deal with that woman using the wrong bathroom.

    • Also not safe from being assaulted by a Republican politician in a women’s bathroom, which has happened tons more than by trans women - especially since there’s no recorded incidents of a trans woman assaulting anybody in a women’s bathroom and the group behind the claim openly said that they made it up in an interview 15 years ago.

      • @dandelion@lemmy.blahaj.zone
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        2510 days ago

        Why is it confusing? The woman who was arrested, Marcy Rheintgen, is a conservative Catholic who thought when push came to shove, they wouldn’t actually arrest her …

          • @dandelion@lemmy.blahaj.zone
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            10 days ago

            Yes, the Catholic Church is anti-trans, but you have to understand that trans people are just like everyone else, they are subject to the same influences and pressures as cis people, and they come from the same backgrounds - from religious families, from conservative families, etc.

            While trans people in the U.S. form an alliance with lesbian, gay, bisexual, asexual, two-spirit, and intersex individuals - this does not mean every trans person accepts the label “queer” or thinks of themselves that way, let alone how they think of other trans people. There are many self-hating trans people, and lots of trans people who hate other trans people.

            Caitlyn Jenner is a Trump supporting Republican who went on Fox News to deliver anti-trans remarks about a trans athlete.

            Blaire White is a Trump supporting Republican who makes a living supporting right-wing and anti-trans talking points on YouTube.

            The Log Cabin Republicans are mostly LGBT+ folks who are Republicans, and they show up to support anti-trans legislation, like in the recent California vote to ban trans athletes.

            I think you have to understand that labels like “queer” and “LGBTQ+” are political identities, and lots of people who are descriptively queer based on their sexuality or gender identity refuse to identify that way for political reasons. Some people remain closeted and hiding, but other people are open about their sexuality and just don’t connect the dots between their sexuality and the political struggles of people with those sexualities, refusing to identify as gay or queer and instead just insisting they’re “straight” even while openly engaging in queer sex.

            Sure, it boggles my mind too, but it’s unfortunately very common. I think a lot of this has to do with the dominance one identity has, like one’s identity as a conservative or as Christian, over another, such as one’s identity as a queer person. When those conflict, it’s not surprising that sexuality or gender identity are not always the winner - especially in cases like Christianity where the religion can have a hold on your entire life (your job, your spouse, your whole family, your entire community - everything might depend on a religious identity like that and it’s very difficult to escape). This is especially the case for a binary trans woman who transitioned so young and can live as a cis-passing woman, there might be very little visible about her trans identity at that point, making it easier to live as a conservative Catholic.

              • @Catoblepas@lemmy.blahaj.zone
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                1210 days ago

                If you read the rest of the comment they’re not saying that being gay is inherently political. Queer as an identity is definitely political, it stems from activists reclaiming it in the 80s and 90s. The “we’re here, we’re queer, get used to it” chant didn’t come out of thin air.

                Using queer a synonym for gay or lesbian is a great way to shove your foot in your mouth by calling someone queer when they don’t identify with that term.

              • @dandelion@lemmy.blahaj.zone
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                9 days ago

                I don’t understand your response, why is acknowledging the political aspect to contemporary Western queer identity upsetting to you? I’m just trying to explain why queer conservatives might not identify as “queer” or “LGBT+” - because of their political associations. It’s similar to how conservatives might remain in the closet about their sexuality.

              • @saltesc@lemmy.world
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                110 days ago

                No, they’re right. Lots of people hate the labels and being labelled as such, they just want to be seen as the normal person they are. It’s not normal to be labelled. In my experience, they are the quiet majority and they just want their sexual preferences to be out of the forefront of stranger’s minds, defining their social identity. It’s actually pretty fucking creepy and weird.

                Some people voluntarily do want the label. That’s fine, it’s their choice. It’s not fine to involuntarily assume for others, though. Respect is something that takes the back seat to narrow-minded assumptions that ironically goes against the best intentions. In a respectful society, there are no labels and people are just people. Unfortunately we are still Neanderthalic so social and political labels, categories, etc. still exist and are assigned, for no purpose and with no consent.

                Most people don’t care and want to be left alone. But there are still idiots out there that care about which toilet they can go in or which toilets others can go in. One day our society will be rid of these people and concept like LGBTQ+ will be ridden of too, because people are just people and toilets are just toilets. A person’s identity shouldn’t be defined by their genitals and what they do with them. Labels and adheration to that is just creepy and weird.

                So, yeah, many people you consider LGBTQ+ are against the whole concept of LGBTQ+ and you shouldn’t assume for them or look at them as “that thing” and slap a label on. We can be so much better than this.

            • @WoodScientist@sh.itjust.works
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              29 days ago

              Also keep in mind the Catholic Church is not a monolith. Plenty of practicing Catholics disagree with the church on one doctrinal matter of another. Plenty of Catholic women use birth control. Most Catholic couples are probably not virgins when they marry. A Catholic church is not going to physically throw you out the door if they know you’re a trans woman. If you showed up to mass dressed like you were going to a pride parade they might toss you out. But if you respectfully go there and fit in with the vibe of the place, they’ll let you practice. The worst that might happen is a particularly conservative priest might refuse you communion. But most priests would rather have a “flawed” parishioner in the pews than throw them out on the street. The whole core idea of Christianity is supposed to be that we’re all sinners. Most churches would happily let a literal murderer in the door if they confessed their sins and had paid their debt to society.

              As far as why anyone would do this? Why not leave the Catholic church for a more affirming congregation? People like churches for all sorts of reasons. Some just like to worship in the high mass style found in Catholic churches. They like the robes, full choir, formal procession, and the otherworldly aspect that Catholic mass often embodies. Some like that the Catholic church places more emphasis on good works than most protestant churches. Some just like the idea of being part of an institution that has been continuously operating for nearly two millennia. For many, especially if they were raised in the church, sticking with it, even if you don’t see eye to eye on everything, is preferable to switching to a liberal protestant church. For many, it’s “my church, right or wrong.” They would rather stay Catholic and push for the church to reform than to leave the church all together.

              • @CalipherJones@lemmy.world
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                29 days ago

                The whole core idea of Christianity is supposed to be that we’re all sinners.

                If Christians followed the core tenants of the Bible then we wouldn’t be in this mess. Fucking Evangelicals.

        • @orcrist@lemm.ee
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          310 days ago

          Who is confused? I think most of us understand what happened and think it’s total shit.

          • @dandelion@lemmy.blahaj.zone
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            210 days ago

            The comment I was responding to just said they were surprised that the arrested trans person prayed the Rosary in the bathroom before being arrested, i.e. they were surprised a trans woman could be a devout Catholic. (Admittedly, I think people who do successfully transition are maybe less likely to be devout Christians, considering Christianity’s role in conversion therapy and the anti-trans movement, so it’s not entirely unreasonable to be surprised.)

      • @PunkRockSportsFan@fanaticus.social
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        610 days ago

        When I was a younger man and lived on the road I exclusively used the women’s restrooms to shit.

        They were usually cleaner.

        Except for Philly. Philly punkes 20 years ago seriously used to have no rules. Or clean bathrooms.

        • TheRealKuni
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          510 days ago

          On the road, sure.

          But when I worked at a restaurant it was consistently the women’s restroom that was more work to clean.

          • @nomy@lemmy.zip
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            210 days ago

            Yeah I worked janitorial in retail years ago and the womens bathrooms were absolute war zones compared to the mens. Frankly I’ve heard the same enough times to doubt the other commenter is basing their comment in fact.

            • TheRealKuni
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              210 days ago

              Depends. At like, rest stops and gas stations I’d believe it because the clientele will skew male, so just by sheer number you’re more likely to get people who won’t treat the bathroom with respect.

  • @WoodScientist@sh.itjust.works
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    20310 days ago

    She did this as an act of civil disobedience and let them know in advance she was coming and was going to use the women’s restroom.

    But imagine she didn’t. Instead she went to the capitol, and, following the law, used the male restroom. Just look at her. Do you think she wouldn’t have been harassed or possibly arrested for doing so?

    In practice, trans bathroom bans work like this:

    Use the restroom the law requires you to: get harassed, beat up, and possibly arrested.

    Use the restroom that matches your presentation: violate the law, hope no one clocks you, and you don’t get arrested.

    I’m a trans woman myself. You wouldn’t know it if you saw me in public. And I don’t even have any ID documents with an “M” on them. If I wanted to obey the Florida bathroom law, I would have to use the men’s restroom. But then when I inevitably caused a scene, I wouldn’t even be able to show an officer that I was just complying with the law.

    Trans bathroom bans are ultimately just a means of driving trans people from public life entirely. Comply with the law? Get assaulted by some chud who thinks you’re violating the law. Disobey the law? Risk arrest for actually violating it.

    There’s a reason labeling this a genocidal movement is not hyperbole.

    • @Kit@lemmy.blahaj.zone
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      2310 days ago

      The harassment and danger is the point. It’s meant to drive trans people away from public spaces. It’s disgusting.

    • @dandelion@lemmy.blahaj.zone
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      8 days ago

      Trans bathroom bans are ultimately just a means of driving trans people from public life entirely.

      This is not an exaggeration, the anti-trans movement literally aims to “eradicate [trans people] from public life entirely”, those are their words.

      Here are some citations, numbers, and evidence to back up what you’re saying and why we should view trans bathroom bans as genocidal rather than about safety, like anti-trans activists claim:

      When laws permit transgender people to access sex-segregated spaces in accordance with their gender identities, crime rates do not increase. There is no association between trans-inclusive policies and more crime. As one of us wrote in a recent paper, this is likely because, just like cisgender folks, “transgender people use locker rooms and restrooms to change clothes and go to the bathroom,” not for sexual gratification or predatory reasons.

      Conversely, when trans people are forced by law to use sex-segregated spaces that align with the sex assigned to them at birth instead of their gender identity, two important facts should be noted.

      First, no studies show that violent crime rates against cisgender women and girls in such spaces decrease. In other words, cisgender women and girls are no safer than they would be in the absence of anti-trans laws. Certainly, the possibility exists that a cisgender man might pose as a woman to go into certain spaces under false pretenses. But that same possibility remains regardless of whether transgender people are lawfully permitted in those spaces.

      Second, trans people are significantly more likely to be victimized in sex-segregated spaces than are cisgender people. For instance, while incarcerated in facilities designated for men, trans women are nine to 13 times as likely to be sexually assaulted as the men with whom they are boarded.

      In society at large, between 84% and 90% of all crimes of sexual violence are perpetrated by someone the victim knows, not a stranger lurking in the shadows – or the showers or restroom stalls. But trans and nonbinary people feel very unsafe in bathrooms and locker rooms, though others experience relative safety there. In fact, the largest study of its kind found that upward of 75% of trans men and 64% of trans women reported that they routinely avoid public restrooms to minimize their chances of being harassed or assaulted.

      from: https://theconversation.com/baseless-anti-trans-claims-fuel-adoption-of-harmful-laws-two-criminologists-explain-206570

      These laws aren’t designed to protect cis women, they are designed to police gender (this impacts cis people too!) and eliminate trans people.

      • @CalipherJones@lemmy.world
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        9 days ago

        From Project 2025

        “Pornography, manifested today in the omnipresent propagation of transgender ideology and sexualization of children, for instance, is not a political Gordian knot inextricably binding up disparate claims about free speech, property rights, sexual liberation, and child welfare. It has no claim to First Amendment protection. Its purveyors are child predators and misogynistic exploiters of women. Their product is as addictive as any illicit drug and as psychologically destructive as any crime. Pornography should be outlawed. The people who produce and distribute it should be imprisoned. Educators and public librarians who purvey it should be classed as registered sex offenders. And telecommunications and technology firms that facilitate its spread should be shuttered.”

        They want trans people existing to not be protected under the First Amendment.

      • Lka1988
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        210 days ago

        Michael Knowles has a seriously punchable face

      • @orcrist@lemm.ee
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        210 days ago

        That alone is not the crazy part, though. Of course many laws have edge cases where you should ignore them for practical reasons in rare circumstances. But here, it’s not an edge case. It’s right there in open sight.

    • @ctkatz@lemmy.ml
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      29 days ago

      and then there are the opposite cases, where in order to comply with the law, manly masculine men would be forced to use the women’s restrooms.

      you know, with women.

      especially the easily frightened at everything because they have been societally coddled and protected for the entire history of this country white women.

      i don’t know. I’m not ever going to personally deal with that, but I think that if all trans people were going to comply with these idiotic and pointless laws that don’t protect the people they are written to protect the trans women probably would have it easier than trans men. I really don’t see too many men being seriously traumatized seeing a woman in the men’s room (especially when cis females have used men’s rooms with men in them regularly at places like concert venues when the line to the women’s room is long or too far away).

      but then again I don’t really give a shit, just flush and wash your hands.

    • @andros_rex@lemmy.world
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      410 days ago

      It’s funny how everyone forgets trans men.

      My state has had a bathroom bill for K-12 schools. Every day I went to work I committed a misdemeanor that could have cost my school funding and sent me to jail.

      I’ve been told that I can be comforted by the fact that trans women are the target - which, yeah, they don’t want to kill trans men. They just want to drive us out of public life and force us to either detransition or be dependent on the generosity of cis men.

      • @ctkatz@lemmy.ml
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        29 days ago

        can I just say as a cis male how weird it is how everyone forgets trans men exist and that everything they say that applies to trans women also applies to trans men. I’m surprised how no one has ever brought up a 14th amendment equal protection clause argument against these laws because clearly the the intent of the laws and the language of these laws was written exclusively for trans women.

        • @andros_rex@lemmy.world
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          9 days ago

          We don’t really “exist” in the fucktard framework. Trans women are evil “males” (farenghi voice) who want to peep on ladies in the restroom, because that would somehow be a smarter route to being a sex pest than becoming a youth pastor. Trans men are crazy - we get a status of being perpetual teenage girls. “Tomboys” that are refusing to grow up.

          They want to kill or imprison trans women, they want trans men to either be institutionalized or forced into submitting to a cis man (the number of gay trans men with boyfriends that misgender them is fucked up.)

  • DominusOfMegadeus
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    5110 days ago

    “The arrest of Marcy Rheintgen is not about safety,” Smith said. “It’s about cruelty, humiliation and the deliberate erosion of human dignity. Transgender people have been using restrooms aligned with their gender for generations without incident. What’s changed is not their presence — it’s a wave of laws designed to intimidate them out of public life.”

    It’s not. I’m sure the conservative assholes are delighted by this aspect, but the real goal is to distract the plebs with ragebait non-issues so they don’t get upset at the actual loss of all the rights, benefits, and government services they rely on.

  • @GiveOver@feddit.uk
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    4110 days ago

    I’ve said this before but I really want to hear some stories of trans men using the womens bathroom in these places. Big muscular men with bald heads and beards, barging in pissing everywhere and leaving toilet seats up.

    I want to see the meltdown when people find out they’re just following the law. Please trans bros do this for me.

    • Match!!
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      1110 days ago

      Call your friends up for a posse when you do!!

    • @parody@lemmings.world
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      10 days ago

      Barge in

      Woman runs out screaming to her boyfriend

      RIP

      [edit mainly for intl readers, this place def has some gun action going on, like anywhere but feels especially dangerous state for this civil rights experiment, as domestic readers will intuitively understand]

  • greenfire
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    1010 days ago

    Segregated bathrooms were done away with by the civil rights laws of the 1960’s

  • @LadyAutumn@lemmy.blahaj.zone
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    Bathroom laws are unenforceable and largely function instead like: “conform as closely as possible to gendered expectations of appearance and presentation or get the shit kicked out of you”.

    This mostly affects cis women. Having broad shoulders and short hair is all it takes really. The more these laws are promoted, the more cis women who don’t conform to social body standards for women will suffer. Wearing a skirt and growing your hair long and wearing makeup every single day could legitimately become a matter of your own safety.

    Biological gender essentialism is just gender roles all over again. They’ve packaged it as a way to force trans people out of society, and it does for anyone who can’t go stealth. But far more than it affects trans people, it affects cis people. They know that. That’s actually the point in the first place. They want to socially enforce patriarchy. The goal is to force women to submit to men and male scrutiny of their gender.

    • @jve@lemmy.world
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      1810 days ago

      Wearing a skirt and growing your hair long and wearing makeup every single day could legitimately become a matter of your own safety.

      Damn. I hate how spot on this sounds.

    • @parody@lemmings.world
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      210 days ago

      Short hair, yup. Short thick curly hair, hat, unique voice… Once spoke with someone for an hour and was shocked when their friend the bartender gendered them.

      They might’ve been conservative too who even knows. Super important point I hope* someone popular and wealthy relays to the US president frequently. “Nobody wants creeps in the bathroom Mr. President but my mom has broad shoulders…”

      (*Hopefully at +13hr after I’m safe from someone taking my hope in a reply)

  • Rymrgand's Daughter
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    810 days ago

    Considering the other places with bathroom bills had cis women attacked by cops…

    Honestly I hope they can figure something out for her, Marcy will not survive 60 days in prison

    • @xorollo@leminal.space
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      110 days ago

      She shouldn’t have to, and I hope she is safe, but I also wouldn’t underestimate what Marcy is capable of surviving. But, Imagine all the good she would be bringing into the world if we didn’t force her to spend her time doing this.

      • Rymrgand's Daughter
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        18 days ago

        Considering how air headed her statements are, if she’s not in solitary during that time she’s not going to be ok 😒

        Florida will make an example of her, and they’re going to dead name and parade her around like they’re doing their evil god’s work.

  • Lady Butterfly
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    2410 days ago

    I do NOT want that girl going in a man’s bathroom!! If any woman’s going to be attacked in a bathroom, it’s her… she’s young, petite and gorgeous. It’s so wrong

    • acargitz
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      2010 days ago

      I don’t want people being attacked in bathrooms period. Men’s bathrooms are not supposed to be lawless dens of brutal violence, just places to fucking pee, poop and wash hands.

      • @Paddzr@lemmy.world
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        149 days ago

        I’ve seen girls that looked below 10 in men’s bathroom. The women’s had a massive queue. Literaly no one cared, she went into cubicle, came out, washer her hands and left. No drama.

        But I guess I live in civilised world.

    • @xorollo@leminal.space
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      1710 days ago

      She is gorgeous, but let’s not create a false bar of its ok if you’re pretty. We also have a story circulating right now in Florida about a very tall cis woman being harassed for using the women’s bathroom and BEING FIRED FROM HER JOB FOR NOT REPORTING IT RIGHT.

      We all need a place to take a shit. Pretty or not.

      • Lady Butterfly
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        410 days ago

        It’s not that, it’s the fact that she can easily become a target because she’s young, petite and gorgeous. It can happen to anyone, and the law is wrong full stop.

    • Pyr
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      99 days ago

      I don’t understand the argument for attacks in restrooms. How often does that happen in America?

      And how is it that separate washrooms are supposed to prevent it? If a man is going to attack a woman ina restroom, is a sign saying they aren’t allowed in really going to stop them if no one else is around?

      • @IamSparticles@lemmy.zip
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        9 days ago

        These laws are stupid and pointless, full stop. There are already plenty of existing laws against doing the sort of things that would actually be harmful. Just having a law to stop someone from entering the “wrong” restroom is stupid because there are plenty of reasons why someone might need to do so, even if they aren’t trans or intersex or whatever. Just entering a restroom is not harmful to anyone. And as you point out, this law doesn’t stop them if they have the intent to do harm. All it serves to do is give the people in authority an easy way to punish a group they’ve identified as “bad”.

      • Lady Butterfly
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        -110 days ago

        It makes her vulnerable. It’s hard for a woman that size to defend herself against someone far bigger.

      • @xor@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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        19 days ago

        there’s always an incel trying to be a white knight….
        “oh m’lady, you’re so young, petite, and gorgeous, i will protect thee!”

        i will add that, trans women are much more vulnerable and at risk in a men’s bathroom than a cis woman is with a trans woman in the women’s restroom…

      • @Vreyan31@reddthat.com
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        510 days ago

        That is how many cis men think, and we are talking about her risk going into a space where there frequently won’t be any other witnesses.

        It is not a weird thing to say, it is a relevant point.

        • @onitoring@feddit.it
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          18 days ago

          Disagree about what?

          The difference between the picture used by article in OP and the second in my link is undeniable

          Taste is subjective matter of course but in one pic you can barely tell she’s transexual while in the other you can clearly tell she was a man.

  • @Phoenicianpirate@lemm.ee
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    149 days ago

    You know what is so ironic about this? Right wing jackasses were talking about bring oppressed by transpeople and how they would be arrested and jailed for pronoun errors, but in all the years of the laws being in effect there was not a single arrest of such a thing.

    But now within barely a few months of their shit being in power they actually do all the shit they accused others of wanting to do. It really was projection all along.

  • @xorollo@leminal.space
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    6510 days ago

    “I know that you know in your heart that this law is wrong and unjust,” she wrote in her letter to lawmakers. “I know that you know in your heart that transgender people are human too, and that you can’t arrest us away. I know that you know that I have dignity. That’s why I know that you won’t arrest me.”

    She wrote a letter and sent to 160 lawmakers letting them know she was going to be doing an act of civil disobedience. Let’s elevate this full letter. This is much better than any article about it. (Article is fine)

  • @IamSparticles@lemmy.zip
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    299 days ago

    Someone needs to start printing up massive numbers of posters with that picture of her face and in large bold lettering: “ARRESTED FOR ENTERING A WOMEN’S RESTROOM”

    Plaster that shit all over the state. Let people see just how ridiculous and cruel the law is.

    • @barneypiccolo@lemm.ee
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      169 days ago

      “He was posing as a women for years, just so he could get into ladies rooms to rape our beautiful MAGA women!” -MAGA Nazis.

      Why does he need to “pose” as a woman to do that? Every rapist I’ve ever heard of was able to practice their hobby without going trans.

  • @sfu@lemm.ee
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    9 days ago

    Bathrooms just need to be single person use. Then neither side could complain. Who wants to go to the bathroom with other people anyway?

  • @sugarfoot00@lemmy.ca
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    559 days ago

    Trans activists are going about this all wrong. Instead of sending someone like Marcy in to violate the law, they need to do this:

    Send in the biggest, burliest, hairiest ftm trans dudes into busy ladies rooms, the room that the state insists he must now legally use. And record the reaction of the women and girls leaving for broadcast media. Because by focussing on mtf trans in ladies rooms, I really feel the dipshits that make these laws haven’t thought their cunning plans through very fully.

    • @Fedizen@lemmy.world
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      9 days ago

      Idk if its any fairer to send trans men in. Plus a pretty girl garners more sympathy.

      Realistically trying to make them enforce them with genital inspections is the only thing that will make the public think about the ramifications

      Edit: I’m not going to advocate saying this but I think the funniest take would be to say gender restricted bathrooms are part of the gay agenda and if girls and boys can use the same restroom at home they can use them in public.

    • @UnderpantsWeevil@lemmy.world
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      Send in the biggest, burliest, hairiest ftm trans dudes into busy ladies rooms, the room that the state insists he must now legally use.

      I mean, that’s what we’ve functionally done. The distinction is that the biggest, burliest, hairiest dude isn’t ftm trans, he’s a fucking cop.

      In an exclusive interview with The Advocate, Morton detailed the humiliating and distressing encounter. She said that she had entered the restroom with her ex-girlfriend, who handed her a tampon, when two male deputies stormed in, shining flashlights into the stall and demanding she exit. Morton, still using the toilet, was stunned.

      “They were flashing lights on our feet and saying, ‘You have to get out of here. You have to come out. We need to talk to you,’” Morton said. “I’m telling them, ‘I’m still using the restroom. I’m sitting down, I’m peeing. What is the issue?’”

      When she finally exited the stall, she said she lifted her shirt to prove she was not a man, expecting the ordeal to end. Instead, she said one deputy continued to question her appearance, insisting she “looked like a man.” Morton started recording, later posting a 9-second clip to TikTok, where it has since been viewed more than 3.7 million times. “They came in here in the girls’ restroom because I’m a girl and they didn’t think I was a girl, so they tried to come take me away,” she says in the video.

      Like, this is the fucking future. The problem is that - outside of specifically LGBTQ media like The Advocate - it gets virtually no press. Cops terrorizing women in the restroom and demanding that they prove they aren’t Transgender just aren’t something the deeply conservative and heavily Trump-pilled local media oligarchs want appearing on TV.

      You get stories like OP’s instead, specifically because they do feed into the “Men are trying to sneak into the women’s room to attack your daughter/wife/girlfriend”