Even with a good career and all the “adult milestones” I don’t feel like an actual adult. I feel like I’m pretending to know what I’m doing. Anyone else experience this?
I stopped getting older after graduating college.
At about 24 years old I finally started feeling like an actual adult. Living alone, taking care of my things and my pets, having a stable relationship. Part of growing up is just accepting that there’s some of parts of you that will never grow up, I’m still a goofball and that’s just part of me.
I make okay money in my forties, was able to put a large some down on a reasonable new car to keep monthly payments low. Also my back hurts if I sit too long. So, yes.
People who act like adults are merely pretending.
Imposter syndrome
Same and nope I do not feel like an adult
If it wasn’t for my passport - and some aches and pains - I’d still think I’m 15.
Congratulations!
By pondering those things and asking the questions that you did, you are now officially an adult!
Nobody knows what we’re doing. And we’re all just bouncing around and slamming into experiences like a bunch of dopes.
Eventually, you’re going to bump into some folks that just sorta stick. They’re going to like some of the same things that you like and be interesting in a multitude of ways. You’re going to find that life gets a little easier when you’ve got some friends to help spread it around.
It’s life. It’s weird and serious and silly and sometimes pretty sad. Hold on tight and enjoy the ride.
That’s part of it but I think there’s a bit more than that.
Getting older I see a clear development among my acquaintances and friends. The ones I would call “real” adults, they dedicate their lives to something that gives it meaning. Some set big goals and got involved in government, some regularly volunteer, some dedicate their lives to ‘simply’ providing as best they can for their kids and family.
For me that is the mark of an adult. Not your competence or your intelligence but what drives you outside just your own desires.
I feel like I’m pretending to know what I’m doing.
No one knows what they’re doing but it’s provocative.
But seriously though, no one knows what we’re doing. As kids, we see adults and think they know what they’re doing but they’re only pretending. A lot of us also still act immature. We are still children in some form or another.
Its not just you, everyone waking up , going to work is pretending. Thats what adult life looks like. You pretend to keep your boss happy, society happy and people around you happy.
Either I’ve always been an adult, or I’ve never been an adult. Honestly not sure which.
PENIS
COCK! I’m 40 btw. If I’d been born in the stone age I’m pretty sure I’d have been the one carving a fuckload of granite dickbutts to troll contemporaries or future victims alike.
Early 20’s. I work with a lot of people nearly double my age who call me a kid (endearingly and lovingly if I may add). Make decent money and have a great partner.
I pay taxes and pay bills, I have a car and I go to work everyday of the work week. I tend to ask myself “is this it? This is what I wanted so much as a kid? This is being a grown up?”
I mean I can eat ice cream whenever I want I guess, but I dread when the actual adulting comes along. Seriously, does anyone else know when the adulting comes? Is it bad?
Apologies for the rambling, but the title question always hits with me as of late. Thanks.
I’d call ‘actual adulting’ having responsibility for another’s welfare. Whether a dog, cat or human, they are all varying levels of “if I fuck up, someone else suffers”.
I still don’t feel fully like an adult, but I do feel the responsibility of ensuring there is food on the table and a roof over our heads. My partner is also responsible for these things so it is a little less pressure.
All said I do not feel as adult as I saw my parents when they were my age. They seemed very grown up and very responsible compared to how I feel today. I was 11 when my dad was my age.
You’re perfectly fine. Really right now you’re a young adult and your older peers are just calling you a kid because they’re at a different stage of life development than you and so don’t relate to you anymore, hence they treat anyone outside of their little clique with derision to enforce their unwarranted sense of superiority. In short, if they’re being mean about it, they’re ageist bigots; remind them they will never have the youthful beauty, potential and opportunities you have when they do it and watch them fume.
As a 41 year old, when I call someone in their early-mid 20s a kid, there’s no derision intended. Think about how you relate to someone who’s 12 or 16 when you’re 20 or so - they might be quite capable, even fun to hang out with; but their life experiences also give them a clearly different outlook. And, like as not, you feel a little more interest in making sure they’re getting along all right (at least I do!)
As you age, that doesn’t really change - but the “target age” where that comes into play follows you up! So at 26, you feel that way about people just coming into high school; at 30-35, about people getting out of college and starting their careers. My oldest kid is 6; and I feel this way now about most of the parents of my kids’ classmates! Makes for a fun juxtaposition, when they have older kids and know more about what we’re in for than I do :p
It can turn into something condescending, depending on the person; but I think it’s usually more of a statement that “I remember being where you were!”
Depends on the point of view I’d say.
- I pay bills
- I deal with requirements and assumptions the society puts on me as a grown-up citizen who brings better tomorrow closer through hard work
- I deal with hardships of my life through thinking, writing about them, cooperation, diplomacy, listening and discussing even difficult topics - also within my relationships
- I embrace the consequences that my actions may bring
- I try to rationalize my thoughts of the world
- i try to be a decent example to kids and other folks
.
- I’m goofy, playful and childlike (you should see my behavior with my girlfriend)!
- I enjoy small, “nonsense” things and they cheer me easily up
- I’m generally relaxed of life
- I get easily (over-)excited
- I am an energetic person
- People assume I’m younger via my habitus
.
So I guess I am and am not, in certain ways.
Just actually hang around kids that are the actual age you “feel”. You’ll realize some differences pretty quickly. Also, I have this idea that what really “ages” us is all the loss we accumulate. The longer you live, the more death comes for your loved ones.
