just interested in hearing peoples stories for how y’all have chosen your new names! doesn’t have to be particularly profound or interesting really, i just like hearing about others experiences.
i’m actually planning on changing my own soon socially despite being cis, and just really like hearing how others came to find their names, as well as am curious about if anyone had to go through more than one to find what’s right for them. i figured this would be the best community to talk about the topic even if i’m not trans :)
I looked up “plant names for people”
Username checks out
One of my first real big moments I can remember when I started to realize I was trans was when I was young and my parents told me what my name would have been if I was AFAB. When I heard the name I got this giddy feeling and I was like, “woah, I really like the sound of that name”
So, I decided to take it when I fully came out to myself and the world
oh i’ve definitely heard of people doing this too, i think it’s a super neat and cute idea! i’m glad you were able to find happiness with one that was already special to your parents too :)
My parents were supportive, so I wanted to include them since in a way I would be taking away that moment that they named their child. I asked my mom for the list of baby girl names she’d had for me and picked my favourite from them. That way she still had chosen my true name and I also got to choose one that fit me very well.
i really like this :) choosing a name for yourself is a really powerful experience, taking control over the word that is you, but if you’re close to your parents, it’s also really unfortunate that you’re taking that away from them in a sense. i’m close with my mom, and she loooooves the name she chose for me- it has a really special story and meaning behind it to her, so it kind of breaks her heart to know that i don’t love it too.
I tried multiple times to find the name, like, using versions of my deadname and stuff. It didn’t really click
And then just randomly chose a basic-ass russian name that I vibed with
The vibes do be powerful
I first saw the name in Pokémon, and immediately felt drawn to it, kinda like the people to their holes in Junji Ito’s Enigma of Amigara Fault lol. I can’t really explain it.
When I later realized I was trans, it was a no brainer which name I’d go with.
this is my name! it was made for me!
Someone in my high school had the name and I really liked it. So I used it after we all graduated so it wouldn’t be weird. I actually had picked a different name at first just because I didn’t want to come off weird or creepy before we would never see each other again. It is a pretty uncommon name.
I’m non-binary. My first and last names are fine. First name leans gendered but is technically unisex. I’m in the process of changing my middle name from a generic gendered one to either “Moxie” or “Miles”. This is because
- I don’t want to have to change my initials (smh)
- I feel no affinity towards my middle name
- Miles is best Sonic the Hedgehog character
- Moxie is best soda
- My middle name appears on few documents but my initial appears on many, so fewer things to update.
(Feel free to suggest other less gendered middle names that start with “M” or try to persuade me one way or another)
Michele is a gender-neutral name between Michel, which is masculine, and Michelle, which is feminine.
Funnily enough, my original middle name is Michelle. I’ve spent 30 years not really liking it :)
I heard the name as a kid and I always knew it was my name internally. As a kid, I always daydreamt of a pretty girl in an overcast field with the wind blowing against her hair. I decided her name was Leyla. It wasn’t until I came out that I understood that the girl was me, and had always been me.
awwwww :3 i love that image! coming to the realize that that girl is you is so awesome and special too!
I wanted my first name to be something easy for my family to adjust to, and chose my middle name because it spoke to me. Now I’ve learned my middle name is a family name, and my family and all my friends call me by my middle name, so my first name is relegated to official business only. It is a convenient way to identify scams very quickly :)
As someone whose egg cracked very recently I am still unsure if Maya will be my final decision.
It’s tough for me. The female Versions of my deadname were ones ingot bullied with my entire teen years so they have this very negative memory to them.
First I went in a direction of names I just find nice and pretty I guess. Starting with Sofia which didn’t really fit my vibe, then Florence which is a really nice name but a bit too extra for me. Shortened it to Flora but that felt odd.
For two months now my gf and some friends have been calling me Maya. How did I find it? I reminded of the 3D program Maya. I remembered it’s also a name. I liked the sound of it and it felt like it fit my vibe and so far that has been the case
Maya 3D was the first thing that came to my mind when I saw your username! Weird how some normal names become associated like that.
I mean it’s literally how I remembered it being a name. And it’s a pretty common one too once you look for it.
I don’t mind it for now and it has been more if a conversation starter than anything. Also some one line friends keep calling me mayannaise which is funny as hell to me.
With my deadname playing with the name of it in a mocking way always felt like the worst insult possible to me. With my chosen name it’s fun and I take part in it… I think that’s a good sign
i agree! if the feminine version of your deadname brings bad memories and feelings, ditch it :) it’s nice that that works for some people, but there’s no reason to feel beholden to it if it’s not for you.
i like maya :) i hope it works for you!
I read it in a bad sci fi book when I was about 14, and it just stuck in my head until I finally came out. Also I like trees and gin.
My first name (Gabriela) is just the feminine version of my deadname. I usually prefer the shortened version (Gaby) though.
My second name (Azucena) it was actually from a soap opera my mom was watching. I couldn’t care less about the show itself, but that girl was exactly the hair style and overall look I wanted to have(and to an extent, still do). But I’m leaving it as a second name because unfortunately in Puerto Rico it’s a pretty rare name (and apparently the people I’ve asked don’t like it much?).
I ended up taking the boring route: I went with the name that my parents would have named me if I’d been AMAB. My deadname didn’t have a masculine version, and there were no other names starting with the same letter I liked, but then I remembered when I was about 11 I’d asked my parents what they would have called me if I was born a boy. So I tried out that name, and found that it just seemed to fit. It’s not too common, I don’t know anybody else in my personal life with the same name, but it’s common enough that people know how to spell it, and it fits my age.
I didn’t like the middle name that my parents chose, though. It made my whole name a bit of a mouthful, especially as I had a longer surname at the time as well. Since middle names aren’t something that get used often, I went a bit more exotic with it, and picked the closest real-world version of my favourite OC’s name.
My spouse and I changed both of our surnames at the same time, as I had taken his surname when we married, but neither of us had a strong emotional attachment to it. So we selected a new one. We’re both descended from a white minority group that has its own ancestral language, so we formed our new surname to fit in with the cultural naming style of that language. As a result, our surname is unique, yet doesn’t look out of place in a phonebook.
picking your middle name based off an important oc is so awesome, and funny because i have a similar experience. only after using max/maxine for little while did i make the connection that my favourite oc is named maxwell 🙈 which was kind of awkward but also really funny to me! guess it just really shows what my favourite names trend toward ;)
I kind of figure that a person’s favourite OC is one that resonates with them for some reason, and that feels like a really valid reason to use their name as inspiration for a middle name.
what it easy to change your surname to a new one ?
In the UK, it’s really easy, as both first names and surnames can be changed with a deed poll. This is basically a document that details your new and old name, signed by two people that aren’t related to you that you have known for at least two years. We don’t really have defined “legal names” here, so the deed poll is accepted by most organisations to change your records (PayPal were weirdly annoying about it, even after I’d changed my driving licence and passport with zero fuss.)
PayPal still has my deadname, tbh. I just didn’t care enough to send them all the documentation they wanted, given that it would have been enough to allow anyone on their staff to steal my identity if they wanted.
PayPal are a nightmare for changing names, they really are. They’re the only organisation I had any trouble with. What I did in the end was close my old account and open a new one under the same email address, which then required just my new driving licence as proof of ID, like any other new customer. Oh, and I got an apology from customer services for that being the only solution.
Oof. An apology is nice, but a user-friendly experience would be better. I signed up long ago that I didn’t have to give a driver’s license, but did have to give a checking account, and when I changed my name, they said they would change it on my account if I sent a driver’s license, and I think my legal name change paperwork. Which was doable, but I care more about having some semblance of privacy than I do about having my payment information be accurate. I don’t want anyone to have that much information about me unless I am getting something extremely valuable in exchange. I just think of it as having some random woman paying for my eBay purchases. It’s sort of disturbing to think about how long ago all of that was, lol.
What’s “OC”?
“Original character”. Basically, it’s a character you create, not one from a book/TV series/film/game/whatever.
I picked all three of my names, the first was by looking at common names from the year I was born, I just browsed baby name books until I found one that I liked. The second is the name of one of my favorite book characters. The third is a derivation of words out of a conlang that means something special to me and sounds vaguely “foreign” to anyone else.
okay, this is awesome. first name is good sense imo, easy to fit in and not feel out of place with your generation which can be helpful for some. second is nice because taking a character that’s important to you as a namesake must be really special and sweet. third is just fucking cool- the words themselves must be important to you in a unique way, and having it be a “code” of sorts that only you really need to know about it so cool. i love this :)
It’s a gender-neutral variation of my birth name. I’m a simple person.
