- cross-posted to:
- programmerhumor@lemmy.ml
- cross-posted to:
- programmerhumor@lemmy.ml
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Making “smart” devices that can’t do routine mundane things without an active internet connection is completely fucking stupid.
I’m just boggled by the fact that “a toilet you flush with your phone” ever gof off the stoner couch. who the fuck wants to pull out a phone and press a button every time they take a piss.
Sensors if you move, yeah they’re a thing that’s given us all a surprise shifting our weight but a fucking app???
Yeah I would expect a “smart” toilet to flush when I stood up or moved away. Why anybody would ever require a phone to turn on a faucet is beyond ridiculous.
Day 3,801 of thanking God I was born a Luddite
Anyone who thought their toilet would be improved by having an internet connection deserves this
Sure but I’m also all for innovating and watching these things fail. Isn’t there a value in letting dumb rich people with money waste their wealth on dumb ideas. It keeps them from doing things like buying Twitter
I’m kind of far away fyom being a luddite, senior software developer, codes for fun, builds electronic stuff with wifi etc.
My toilet was built and installed before internet was invented and will not be changed for anything smart, neither is my toaster, dish washer, stove, locks, etc. etc. Ever. Over my dead body (if you want to be disinherited).
Has nobody else pointed out this is clearly not real?
Oh we’re the idiots. Never saw that coming
Yeah first thing I did was search the web for more information. Zero results…
I bet most of these other commenters also complain about boomers eating up fake news.
I have become the red shirt from my favorite SMBC comic
However, my feelings regarding smart devices remain intact
Okay, I get the idea of smart AC for example - be elsewhere, turn it on remotely so that it’s comfortable when you get home. Fine. But a toilet? You are physically present there, you can push a button to flush. Or are you telling me that you’re shitting remotely now too?
Wait, so you’re not subscribed to shitme™? For a low monthly subscription they send you a sealed, self-addressed and postage-paid container to deposit your feces in, it gets sent to a sorting facility and distributed via drones or delivery drivers directly to your home toilet, where the feces are flushed in the privacy and safety of your own home! The peace-of-mind alone is worth the $39.98 a month. Up until now, the only challenge has been flushing the toilet while you’re still at the office, this way you NEVER have to go home!
Shit like a world leader
you’re shitting remotely now too?
Do we tell them about the remote shit technology that just landed from Uranus?
It’s not that great anyway. Your local toilet will surreptitiously grab and analyze your poop, dispose of it so you don’t need to flush, and have the remote toilet extrude an identical copy someone else has to flush.
Hands free means you don’t have to touch the handle with dirty hands, but you can do that with a motion sensor too.
Personally I would much rather touch my phone with my dirty hands than a toilet handle
We’ve been ready for pedal activated toilets for decades now
Home assistant everything is a yaml away
The major difference between a thing that might go wrong and a thing that cannot possibly go wrong is that when a thing that cannot possibly go wrong goes wrong it usually turns out to be impossible to get at and repair.
Douglas Adams
Adams’s law.
And yet I hear dumbshits bragging all time about how alexa controls my (insert thing that definitely does not need automation here).
These sort of people never think beyond tomorrow and it shows.
Why would you ever get a toilet that requires anything but the laws of physics to operate?
Uh, a bidet?
I can see some purpose in having a ‘smart’ toilet for monitoring health. Your pee and poo can have some value in seeing if there anything that needs to be dealt with medically. But even that is difficult to do. For one thing, it must still function ad a toilet first before anything. Meaning it uses the simple mechanical flushing and refilling and stopping when it is sufficiently full.
However for this the analysis and storage of data must be 100% at the user’s control. If they want it gone. It is gone. Irrecoverable. Any update must be done via USB or other connection. No wifi or internet.
And even then the analysis can be off for obvious reasons. People need to scrub their toilets and some keep it clean by having one of those pucks in the tank that sanitize the water. All of these can interfere with any results out of a medical setting.
Yeah but if they let users control the data then how are they supposed to sell it to insurance companies to boost their value to VCs???
You’re already @ the mf toilet too, or the sink. what is even the purported purpose of remotely activating something you have to stand there to use?
I mean… Electronics and the Internet are also following the laws of physics. But I get what you mean, levers should be the only activation, and gravity should be the only requirement.
That being said, electronics in our devices do tend to reduce the amount of water and power that appliances use. Dumb devices are extremely inefficient, even though there are fewer points of failure.
It sucks that a 1950’s fridge can still function just fine today, but it also is a bigger strain on the power grid, and a leak in the refrigerant would destroy the ozone.
> That being said, electronics in our devices do tend to reduce the amount of water and power that appliances use. Dumb devices are extremely inefficient, even though there are fewer points of failure.
I fail to see how electronics in these (unpowered) devices in any way reduce the amount of power that they use.
In theory you could have a system that monitors input and then uses a precise amount of water to vacate the bowl.
Oh sick, a toilet with bowl cameras
I figure a scale would probably work better.
It’s not nearly tech bro enough though. We need to jam pack this baby with Deep Learning Neural Network Image Recognition to count the corn kernels in your shit.
I think that was just a general statement regarding old devices, since they brought up a 1950s refrigerator as an example of a powered “dumb” device
Sprinklers and all kinds of stuff are more efficient with sensors and electronic regulators
Yeah I think the meaning of the above comment boils down to “If it doesn’t have a simple fallback, it can’t be trusted”.
My new eFirepit is causing my family to die of hypothermia.
“Dumb” is the new “smart”.
I think that any electromechanical system that does not allow a mechanical override or at least a redundancy are doomed to fail. I don’t know why these IOT entrepreneurs don’t take in account that software and electronics are faulty systems, ignoring decades of experience in the subject.
Nah I’m an innovator! I’ll just innovate a better chip that’ll never fail and software that has no bugs!
Proceeds to put Linux on a common SoC and load it with shoddy software from a low paid contractor.
Terminally online, even for #2
Because most people are not online while pooping, right?
Right?
Well, shit.
Well put.
I’ve put a few smart lights/switches/sensors/power points in at home. Definitely helps mum as we can have wireless switches for the lights, and motion sensors to turn the hallway lights on automatically as well.
For ALL of them, I make sure there is a manual control that will work as a backup regardless. Even if a smart light is “off” due to the motion sensor not detecting movement, all you need to do is turn the old regular light switch off then back on and the light will default to being back on.
Ye. I have all Ikea smart stuff, by default everything is running a local mesh network with physical remotes and that light switch backup.
You don’t even need to connect any of it to the net, buying a hub to get app & google home/alexa/etc control is entirely optional with the exception of a few sensors, like the moisture/water leak one. And even then, the app & hub work on local wifi with no internet anyway.
Same. I have TOPGREENER power monitors on all my major applications. Tracking kWh usage. Smart bulbs all through out the house and smart speakers located within speaking distance. Plus a hodge podge of cameras doing 24/7 monitoring.
I don’t think any of these people know what “smart” is supposed to mean cause these must be the dumbest ideas for any product I’ve heard so far.
Mostly to be more efficient and save water, though I couldn’t fathom how that would work with a toilet. Perhaps it’s part of a system to monitor your water usage to help you reduce your use? Maybe the app suggests to let it mellow when it’s yellow?
‘Smart’ means it can send your lifestyle data to the company, and make you dependent on their services.
You want to change your toilet provider? Best of luck holding your poo in for three days while the transfer is processed.
My sister’s new apartment’s front door has a “smart lock”, hooked up to Ring, naturally. No keyhole, you open it with your phone. It also runs on batteries.
Do I really need to say any more? We were baffled.
EDIT: Correction - there IS a keyhole but the actual tenants don’t have access to it. Only the property management. Creepy. :|
I was watching a friend’s dogs while she was on vacation when the batteries in her door lock died. I had to climb in a back window to get inside and feed them. Luckily, there was a back door with a dumb lock, but I had to get inside first and borrow her keys for that to help.
“Hello amazon I’m a police, I need you to unlock this door at 123 Rainy St, Arlen TX 76043”
“Ok Mr. Police right away!”
Sounds great!
LOL relevant meme attached:
Arlen TX
Weird coincidence seeing this right after finishing an episode of King of the Hill. LOL
“Yo man dang’ol smartlock open up man left my daggum phone in there tell ya what.”
“I’m sorry, can you repeat that?”
It was one of the jailbreaks, LLMs are just too eager to help.
Oh my god that’s hilarious, I hope that really worked!
As to KOTH:
“Unlock my door or I’ll kick your digital ass!”
*crying* “My door won’t let me in, Hank! Everyone leaves me, Lenoire left and now even my house left me!”
Dale however never got one, his house is still secured by Daletech. Shishishaaaaa!
I’ve seen landlords put these things on doors, too, and use them to allow entrance to anyone they think has a reason to be inside, whether the resident knows and consents or not.
Actually, yeah, I edited above but it did have a little keyhole: Except the management office said it was for themselves alone.
That’s just…eegh…
Yeah fuck that.
Actually that is illegal (at least in my area), they’re required to give at least 24hr notice for maintenance or the landlord themselves coming by, etc. Exception is cops, they can always let in cops (and EMS and Fire I think).
I think that’s been the law everywhere I’ve lived, too, but not always followed…
I have a smart deadbolt that is keypad operated. It’s awful.
Never used the smart features, and there isn’t a bypass to unlock the door when the batteries die — which happens a lot, especially in the winter. I tried using rechargeable batteries in it, but they last less than half the time of normal batteries.
There is nothing more frustrating than punching in the key code and hearing the death of HAL9000 voice before the deadbolt fully unlocks. Luckily I have a back door that isn’t smart.
I’m replacing the lockset soon and this won’t be a problem anymore, but holy shit is it frustrating and wasteful.
Kwikset keypad works great for me. There’s a keyhole, a real button keypad, and the batteries last a while with quite a bit of warning before they’re actually dead.
I got a Proteus IV system. Now I’m dead and my wife is knocked up.
I have one too but it has an emergency physical “master key”. Also there’s a port to provide power to it through a battery bank, in case you really run out of juice though it’s potentially another point of failure. No internet connection
I have a Nuki this one still works with a normal key, since you install it on top of your existing double cylinder (you should only install it on one that can have two keys inserted at the same time or with a turn knob on one side). The Nuki just turns the key or thumb turn of the cylinder. Also means you can’t see that a smart lock is installed from the outside. Battery is not a problem since they last for about 5 months. And you get a warning when it reaches 20%.
What if there was no internet connection? Would they be able to get in their house?
What’s the brand?
Honestly I’m not sure, I only got a look at it when I was helping her move.
It’s tied to a wall panel on the other side that controls the whole unit’s lighting and thermostat and such though, and shows a doorbell cam.
Educated guess that it’s all tied to Amazon. Blegh.
Allegedly they’re just supposed to rely on maintenance to change the batteries so they’re not locked out of their home. Crazy.
SmartOne uses Schlage locks with some ecobee thermostats and sometimes a doorbell cam. Latch locks suck and I don’t know what panel is used there.
I’m in Toronto, I do high-rise construction. Post a picture I’ll tell you what it is.
