transcript
A meme saying: “STOP DOING COMPUTER SCIENCE”
- Computers were supposed to solve math, NOT to be programmed
- C is a LETTER, not a language
- Wanna print() something? Write it in a PAPER with a PEN
- “I’m writing a recursive method with threads to optimize the CPU usage in a 0.02%” THIS IS A NONSENSICAL STATEMENT MADE BY DERANGED PEOPLE
Look at what PROGRAMMERs have been demanding your respect for, after all the led lights we put in their computers: (This is real COMPUTER SCIENCE, done by real COMPUTER SCIENTISTS)
- FUNNY COLORED LETTERS (with a picture of syntax-highlighted code)
- 178 COMPILATION ERRORS??? (with a picture of compilation errors
- A FAKE TEAPOT YOU CAN’T USE (with a picture of a 3d rendered teapot.
IF PROGRAMMING WAS REAL HOW COME NOBODY THOUGH IN DOING
while(true{print(money);}
end transcript.
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I just tell people that I am a “professional button pusher”
Knowing which buttons to push is the valuable part though.
That’s what diffs a professional button pusher from an amateur button pusher.
When you know which buttons in which order get you money, you become a professional.
I dont know where I heard this story but it was something like the following:
In a company a very valuable machine breaks and becomes inoperable, so they call the support. They send a mechanic to fix the machine. The mechanic arrives inspects the machine, opens it, presses a button and it works as if nothing happened. The manager then asks why he is paying the mechanic just to press a button. The mechanic answers “you aren’t paying me for pressing the button, but for knowing which button to press”.
“Write it in a paper”…I’m not sure how that works but I am very curious
Just use a printer! It’s in the name!!!
If you go back far enough, you’d be coding the ENIAC via punchcards.
… Or maybe today you could write code on paper and have an AI augmented OCR system try to run it?
Write so hard out of anger that you rip the paper.
Appreciate the alt text
using threads to reduce cpu usage ? in what world ? if you can parallelize tasks you will always increase the workload done.
they said optimize CPU usage, not reduce CPU usage. clearly they actually want to increase CPU utilization in this mysterious “0.02%” situation in order to get the results faster
:) + Bitcoin mining :
while(true{print(money);}There’s like 2 syntax errors in this one liner.
🤣, welcome {( to ] ] !programmer_humor
I mean, the entirety of Steam’s code could maybe be described as an obfuscated version of
while(true){ print(money); }
Twitter is just a wrapper around a database.
=P
YouTube is just a weeeeeeeird cylinder that simply can not be filled.
Ah yes, let’s forget that that image is created on a computer
No, I made it pixel by pixel on a piece of paper, and then scanned it to spread the word.
Thank you for your service
A client with s very low budget wanted a solution for their filing. We suggested they could get more bang for their bucks with preprinted paper forms, pens and a cabinet than going for software. They were not amused.
and if they want to go fancy and cheap, suggest excel.
Yeah it’s all propaganda, I like bashing a keyboard’s keys due to sexual reasons.
So saith corporal Ludd
Ok but that is actually a nonsensical statement. In no case will using threads and recursion reduce cpu usage
Oh I can use threads and recursion to stop CPU usage.
Removing spinlocks on IO by using async event handling can reduce cpu usage
Maybe if the threads pause a lot, and pause even more as the stack unwinds to the final exciting conclusion.
I suppose that’s true. And also deranged to do it on purpose
while 1 print money
Central banks obfuscate this code a bit, but its all about having the right printer hooked up.
Well, they use a for loop that whatever group of bureaucrats has to enter a limit into, but basically yes.
Where is “they’ve played us for absolute fools”
Developer here: can confirm. (#4 is actually true.)
Indeed, anytime I optimize code, it ends up taking more CPU to run.
Isn’t that what you’re optimising? Trying to reduce runtime by increasing CPU load
If that’s a genuine non-sarcastic question that isn’t whooshing me then no - there can be other things like memory/disk usage… but if I’m optimizing for CPU I want it to use less overall cycles. It may be that the easiest fix is to throw money at the problem (always a fair option) which would mean getting a beefier/more processor cores to make the performance acceptable but this would usually just shift how cycles are being used to process them faster.
My joke above was that it’d use more total cycles which actually is generally the case if you’re solving a problem by throwing resources at it (since you’re likely incurring more overhead) but generally when you optimize you want to reduce the total number of cycles by somehow locating and eliminating work that doesn’t need to be done.
It was genuine, in my workplace the only optimisation is for run time
Ah right on, that’s a fun and difficult thing to optimize for!
I once made a multithreaded code for an embedded device.
Tested it on my development Desktop PC and it used all 4 cores.Running it on the target device, all threads ran on the same core because it was too powerful for Linux to feel the need to use multiple cores.
What is “a 0.02%”?
