Don’t suggest hobbies or human contact. It’s been suggested and it doesn’t work.
I have a job I don’t particularly hate nor like, some coworkers I get along with others are just morons, I go to work, then buy groceries, go home, eat, watch tv, go to bed. Rinse and repeat.
On my free days I do sport and watch pirated netflix. I don’t spend much money on clothing or media and save most of my paycheck. What for? I have no idea. I don’t eat out because I like cooking my own food and restaurants are expensive and the food is bland.
Everything is so expensive nowadays btw…
Most people bore me. I’m like an atheist monk.
I don’t want to kill myself or anybody fwiw. It’s like I don’t give a crap about anything or anyone and don’t see what’s the point of living.
I don’t want to travel because it costs money.
As soon as my cognitive abilities start to fail I’m going to be very easy prey for any online scammer.
Change one thing just because you can. Take a different way to or from work, whether it is walking (and leaving much earlier), or a different bus/train or car route.
Listen to your favourite songs… look at the birds around you. Borrow a book from the library and read it, one bit at a time. Make the choices in your life, deliberate and DIFFERENT. Break your routine. Feel human.
Then you can choose to join a casual sports team, a minecraft server, something else for human contact.
There was this guy, I think a big shot from wired magazine, that would try to sit in a different chair every day, with the goal of breaking his habits, which was his way of getting new ideas.
You’re going to get a lot of advise about what makes life worth living, but it sounds like you have low level depression. Talking to a therapist and looking at an antidepressant are your first steps, along with the other things that can help with low level depression.
To rush to antidapressants as the first solution is to give up, and not a solution at all.
Spend your money, travel, get outside your comfort zone and challenge yourself. Or get professional help.
*And/or
I grew up poor in a semi remote Native reserve in Canada in the 1970s and 80s. The first ten years of my life my parents were still basically living off the land and most of what we ate was wild food. I didn’t even have that many sweets or junk food which saved my teeth when I was young.
Then as a teen, I had to fight and claw my way through life in order to get anything. Sure we got ‘free’ help for food, health care, dental, eye and education … but it was just barely enough for me to barely get through high school. At the end of it all, I still had no prospect of making a living on my own in my own home community … I had to leave in order to survive. Even after then, I had to fight every step of way to make a living and fight off my old community members who thought I was being ‘too white’ and the non-Native people who thought I wasn’t ‘white enough’ … it was completely messed up.
After fighting through all that crap into adulthood, I met someone I fell in love with who wanted to do the same things I wanted to do. We didn’t make that much money but we figured out how to travel to over 30 countries over 25 years. About six years ago was our last trip because we caught a virus that make us sick and cough our lungs out … it was terrible. It took me about three months to get over it. My wife never got over it and now sits at home with chronic lung disease. It’s left us at home and we can never leave again.
The reason why I am saying all this is is that you have the world by the tail … you’ve got everything. You have a job, shelter, a bit of money and you are young and capable.
Give yourself about ten or 20 years and you will feel less and less like doing anything and then it will all be over. Once you get to a certain age, you will feel like ‘hey, I think maybe I want to do something’ but by then, it will be too little, too late and you won’t have a choice and you will be stuck in your apartment or house or home or whereever you’ll be and just sit there and wait for death. The entire time you’ll be sitting there, you’ll be regretting that you never did anything and that you never went out and tried just doing the bare minimum of excitement.
I feel terrible that I can no longer do much and that I have to stay at home taking care of my wife. I love her dearly but I would much rather we both head out into the world and just go somewhere, anywhere as far as money would take us. I really never cared if where I went was warm, dry, hot, cold, wet or miserable or absolutely fantastic. Sometimes, the best part of the trip was coming back home and realizing just how wonderful and fantastic home really was compared to many places in this world.
The only thing that doesn’t make us completely miserable and regretful is that we did go out there and take in as many sights, sounds and tastes as we could afford. It was fantastic. We saw the Acropolis hill, the pyramids, Machu pichu, St Peters, the Mediterranean, buddhists temples in asia, indian landmarks, dozens of cheap motel dives in the US and Canada, the oceans on every side of North America and so much more … all for as little money as we had.
Now that we can’t move or go anywhere any more … we look at old photos and reminisce about every trip we ever took.
Go out there and go as far as you can possibly go … then when you get old and grey, you can be as sad as you want but at least you can look back on all the great things you saw.
I wish that there was some sort of equivalent of Reddit gold… That is a fantastic comment, with a ton of useful advice. OP cooks his own food, a better way to find new food and things you’ve never come across otherwise, is by traveling. It really does broaden the mind, gives you a better perspective on things,… But Mr. ININ, I hope the best for you. You did some awesome stuff and can’t anymore. I feel your pain.
Op: see the world. Get the shittiest inside cabin you can on a cruise ship that goes to a bunch of different countries. Think of it like a sampler pack of that part of the world. If you see something that strikes you fancy, plan to go back. Plan all the things you want to do or see. Look on some guides online. If you don’t knowwhat to do with the money, you can’t take it with you, go do something with it.
Cruises are an environmental nightmare; we really should not be promoting them for any reason.
Cruise! … that is one cheap way to visit a bunch of places.
Go sign up to a website called … wwww.vacationstogo.com … make a basic account with an email and then look for a link in the website called ‘30 day ticker’ - it’s all last minute cruise deals. Last minute cruise deals are not the same as last minute air fare deals. Air fare deals are usually discounted a few days or even a week or two before the flight. Cruises are discounted two months or a month before departure. The vacationstogo website is a general website that lists every deal from every cruise company. You can search through cruises going to anywhere in the world.
We stumbled on this site about ten years ago and we got on about 8 - 9 cruises in the Mediterranean. We basically used it as a glorified ferry to take us from one place to another. If you just leave your schedule open and take whatever is available you can literally cruise for almost nothing. We took several cruises to get from Spain to Italy … 7 day cruises that cost $400 CAD … all inclusive! It was cheaper to take the cruise and vacation for 7 days with free room and board than it was to fly to Italy and rent hotels and buy food. We once went with friends for 14 days for about $1,000 all inclusive … that might sound like a lot but divided across 14 days that $70 a day to see 6/7 cities, all the food you want, no alcohol because we don’t drink, don’t bother with excursions, just go take a walk yourself, workout gym on the ship, and you get to be in giant hotel right in port in the centre of some of the most beautiful cities in the world.
My recommendation is … go on the Mediterrean cruises to actually see fantastic cities, food and history … go Caribbean if all you want to is party and see poor people in third world countries … go Asian if you want to safely see a bunch of great Asian countries.
This is how we were able to see the pyramids in Giza. We took a random cruise to Turkey and one of the stops was Alexandria and Port Said, both ports that could take you to the Pyramids. We took the cheapest excursions on both just to see these great wonders and it was amazing.
If you’re afraid of travelling, go on a cruise. We always joked that we could just grab a cruise from Montreal, New York or Florida, cross the Atlantic on a last minute deal, then just keep taking cheap deals once we arrived on the other side and then grab more cheap deals to head home and never use a plane the entire time.
God yes. Did 1 cruise and literally saw the Sistine Chapel, the Colosseum, Michelangelo’s David, walked around in Pompeii, scaled a volcano, saw where the Olympics started, the Parthenon, amazing art (Birth of Venus just to name another), incredible food, incredible people. Spent months planning it, ton of pics, and now make some “new” dishes all the time.
OP: meds and a therapist. Meds to fix the chemistry, therapist to teach you how to live life happily.
Gym, Meditate, Therapy, Volunteer, Meetup, Hobbies. Any combination of these, at least 2.
Accumulating money doesn’t count as character building nor living. Spend money wisely, but do spend it. Wisely is subjective, but see above for what I think that means in this context. Good luck.
Edit: wording.
Sounds like you are dealing with an existential issue. Personally I’ve dealt with this by learning and teaching others, through this I feel I have found purpose. I also find it through political activism and volunteer work. There is nothing as fulfilling as helping others just because you want to and can.
Is there anything that you would like to do, any bucket list items etc?
I can’t emphasise how badly you need to travel. I’m old and very well travelled, much of it for work, like easily 20 countries all across the globe and it has been a huge eye opener to experience different cultures, foods, make friends with fellow travellers, locals and has broadened my horizons on so many fronts.
Yes it can be expensive but it is something you will never regret if you can scramble the money together for it. Embrace it. Deeply.
If you’re in North America you can experience lots of cultures and experiences like the national parks in the US very reasonably. I’m guessing you’re not in Europe because travel is cheap AF here.
I honestly think it will bring down many of the current barriers you express.
Have you tried getting a pet?
Having another life to care for can give your life meaning.
This^
Try this book.
“Discover What You Are Best At” by Linda Gail. I always had jobs, and never particularly liked working. I did the tests in the book and got pointed at a job I actually enjoyed doing.
Even on rainy Mondays I didn’t hate having to leave the house.
Having a job you like solves a lot of your problems.
Do you drink or take other drugs? Those can make you feel empty.
I was actually going to suggest the opposite, I’ve heard taking shrooms can help people with depression and re-frame their life. I can’t recommend though, haven’t tried myself
Mushrooms are very dangerous. It’s recommended to take them only when you are facilitated by some kind of guide. Never do it alone or with frivolous friends.
Yeah you definitely want to be around supportive and emotionally reliable and safe people your first time. Set and setting are extremely important.
Also just dip your toes in. You don’t need to leave the planet. If the people you’re with are pushing you to take them in the first place they’re the wrong people.
Unless you have symptoms of schizophrenia or similar you’re pretty safe with those guidelines.
I have and I think it makes a lot of sense that psychedelics could potentially help with OP’s specific problem
LSD is just a tool to turn us into what we are supposed to be. -Albert Hofmann
I’m would believe that’s true but I mean frequently taking drugs of any kind typically makes one feel bad, especially alcohol.
I was super interested in that and LSD but never tried them. Someone once said to me that from a Buddhist perspective they’re not helpful because they provide a one time view rather than a continual shift in mindset.
Comparing alcohol to psychedelics is wiiiiild. Psychedelics changed my life. Alcohol mostly just makes me sad and sleepy. Occasionally giggly, at best.
As you can read I didn’t compare them other than using both words in the same comment, lol
You’re right, but I wasn’t being argumentative, just fyi. My intention was to say, “If you’re thinking of them as at all similar, PLEASE DON’T.” You should totally give psychedelics a try if/when it works for you, because they’re nothing even remotely comparable to a buzz, or being very drunk, or adderall, or weed (okay, POTENTIALLY mildly similar, but rarely, at least for me), etc. It was just intended to share my own experience with the two and how they compare, since you noted you’d only tried the one. But I do see how it could’ve come across. Wasn’t trying to be smarmy and corrective.
I’m sorry misread your tone then and replied such. Thanks for clarifying
Nah, you’re good. I get how you took it like that.
Someone once said to me that from a Buddhist perspective they’re not helpful because they provide a one time view rather than a continual shift in mindset.
That’s true, but you can take that experience and apply it to sober life. You don’t need to take acid all the time to appreciate psychedelia, but a few trips help broaden the horizon so to speak. My memories of psychedelic experiences sometimes return to me quite vividly when floating in a float tank.
Thanks for sharing! That’s cool. I wonder why specifically in the tank?
Maybe I should reword it that similar experiences in meditation can be had naturally, whenever and for as long as one wishes.
That said, I haven’t experienced either. Float tank was fun though.
I think probably because there’s no sensory input and I’m just there floating in the darkness with only my breathing and heartbeat. It’s not like the whole time I’m in the tank I’m tripping, but I have had some psychedelic adjacent experiences. Not so much the visual and auditory hallucinations, but rather the psychedelic thoughts. Pondering the nature of my existence, fleeting moments of feeling cosmic and eternal, that sorta thing.
I wouldn’t recommend psychedelics to everyone but I’m glad I’ve dabbled. Those in a stable mental state would probably have a worthwhile experience eating some shrooms and sitting down in the woods.
lsd, ketamine and others arent like regular drugs. many people arent the same person after taking them, even if its subtle. theres an odd experience where when youre coming down you never actually know when its ‘over’.
That’s an interesting point
I sometimes feel this as well. Without my family, my hobbies, my job, and my vices I’m totally empty, and I do have a religion.
https://www.healthline.com/health/mental-health/how-to-survive-midlife-blues
Depending on how old you are, you might just be hitting the normal midlife low point. It hit me hard in my late 30s and I spent a lot of time reading about it once I found out it was typical. I think a lot of it has to do with the rate at which you’re experiencing milestones and life changes. It feels like you are constantly progressing in your life up to your 20s or 30s and then the time scale suddenly shifts. Things take much longer to advance - saving enough for a house or retirement, that next promotion (assuming you even want one), major family changes, etc.
Understanding that helped me recover somewhat, though it still took a couple of years. I’m still in that lull, trying to figure out what I really even want to do next, but I don’t feel sad about it anymore. I don’t know if this applies to your situation, but I found it really helpful to learn about it.
Allow yourself enjoyment. Do things.
Enforce ‘this was fun’.
Sounds stupid and piling responsibility on you. I’m sorry about that. But maybe this can help you. I’ve been there.
Edit: most important part. Yes, there is a way. I am in no position to claim to know what is going to help you, but I do know this: there is another way to live. Following is what I have tried and it worked
Been around there, it really is not a good place. Time to look inside. You only have so much time left to live, and only so much energy to do things. As to what can be done, then if possible, take a good break: quit job, buy food, then just stay home. No books, no TV, no speaking to anyone, no internet, no games, no nothing. Your mind will go wild for some time, but then you will recover and see life with more clarity
And for the big picture - look inside. If you were to die today, what would you do? Whom would you speak to one last time? Where would you go if distance was not an issue? What do you want to be done with your dead body? (If the answer is “nothing, I don’t care”, I would strongly suggest go see a doctor. Depression does not just go away)
Also, remember this every day: tomorrow morning, you may not wake up. Today you woke up, but a day will come when you don’t. Remind this to yourself. Slowly this will change your perspective
If you happen to feel like talking - message or ping me, I will answer as fast as I can
