so this happened to me yesterday, i was hanging out with a few of my relatives and we were doing a lot of stuff and we were having fun but i realized that when my relatives talk to each other they talk like proper adults because well, they are, like, they can swear and stuff, but when i talk to them they are like “yea buddy sure!!” or talk to me like as if i was some sort of young person, and even my friends do that same thing, all of them!!! it feels like i’m not part of anyone’s conversation which sucks but well it’s fine!!!
It might be the group. I worked for a place that had The A Team and everyone else. The founders of the company treated everyone else like crap.
Did the answers you got the last time(s?) you posted this question not tell you what you wanted to hear?
If you want to appear older online you should write properly. Proper capitalisation and sentences make your text easier to read. As it is they look like an uninterrupted stream of consciousness.
This might also help you offline. Try to structure your thoughts before giving them to the world. This takes time but should go a long way on making you seem like you got your shit together.
I subconsciously skipped the entire text after a few words and didn’t even realize or think about why until I saw this comment. OPs style of writing is exhausting. If they talk like that in person, that would explain a lot.
they never used a period
From what I can tell by your posts, you are treated like a child because you talk and act like a child. Have you tried, like, growing the fuck up?
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but i am growing up and besides i have no other way of talking,i’m sorry, i’m still learning too but thank you for the advice!!
“But I am growing up. And besides, I have no other way of talking, I’m sorry, I’m still learning. But thank you for the advice!”
Try this.
If you talk at all like you’ve written, I would treat you like a child too.
Maturity has nothing to do with your calendar age.
Do the RAADS-R test. In case it’s more than 120 (I think that’s the number, but it has a description), you may want to read what autism is and whether you may have seen some of the traits in you, and then may visit a psychiatrist.
I say that because autistic people often imitate some style of speech in circumstances not quite fitting.
Did this along with a few others earlier in the year and I’m getting evaluated next week!
I got my diagnosis less than a week ago.
I’ve stumbled upon description of something called “Asperger’s syndrome” on a printed A4 sheet, being like 12 years old, but that description was somewhat enigmatic and I couldn’t tell how different it is from normalcy. I’ve also read about Carrie Fisher’s life after Star Wars and that she had BAD.
So since that time I suspected that I might be autistic and have bipolar, but thought that condition names are for doctors, while for laymen it’s better to say that people are different. So only when I reach a doctor and get a diagnosis, it’ll be certain. The approach itself is kinda autistic.
Then somewhere around year 2018 I’ve, eh, remembered\imagined a lot of things connected to emotional trauma, and came with these idiosyncrasies to a state medical institution (it’s Russia) where they just assumed it’s simple type schizophrenia (typical Russia again).
Now, being 28 years old, I finally have a normal diagnosis of ASD and BAD and no ADHD. I was certain I have ADHD, but paying attention to my own behavior - I see things architecturally wrong which I still have to work with, or meaningless things, and may seem like an ADHD person, but an ADHD person can’t focus, while I can’t start due to disgust of something.
I don’t know your situation, but I’ve noticed that people tend to do this to people who act immaturely. Your writing style, especially the use of 3 exclamation marks per sentence seems quite childish. If you talk in a similar way, that might have something to do with it.
!!!
/j
‘Multiple exclamation marks,’ he went on, shaking his head, ‘are a sure sign of a diseased mind.’ – Terry Pratchett in Eric
You should look into checking if you are autistic. We get infantilized a lot
i did get checked that before but they said no, no autism for me!!
There are various reasons people may treat you as if you’re younger. I would bet the primary reason is no matter how much you think you’ve grown up, those changes have to be seen outwardly for a while before people that knew you as a kid will accept it. It took until 24 or 25 before I felt people had stopped treating me with kid hands. Keep in mind as well that as people get older, younger people start blending together a bit and a 20 year old does not seem as mature from a 30-40’s perspective. It’s similar to how younger people often have a hard time telling apart old people’s ages and they all seem “old”. The final point I’d make is that swearing isn’t something all adults do and is not related to maturity. It can be a sign of familiarity between certain people though. Swearing around family members is either something that comes with time or never, really depends on your parents/relatives.
Trying to push these issues in an “I’m a big boy now!” manner will generally backfire and get you treated young for longer, because it’s a very childish thing to do. I am not all-knowing so I don’t like giving absolute advice, but personally I think the best thing you can do is not worry so much about it and continue acting in a responsible manner. If you show yourself to be mature, others will realise and treat you as such. If they don’t then either you’re not as mature as you think or you should find someone who you can have a more level conversation with. It’s not so bad being young, anyway, “the grass is always greener” and you will miss it when people always look at you like an adult!
My oldest daughter is 21, but she’s still “one of the kids”.
I know she’s an adult now and will be finishing college next year, and out loving her own life very soon, but she’s still my child. Even though you can go do anything an adult can do, you are still the same “child” that you’re family has known since you were born. It’s going to take time for them to get used to that.
Legally, turning 18 instantly makes you an adult, but it’s going to take a lot longer than that for other people to realize it.
Also, early twenty something’s ARE still kids. Very few people that age have actually “grown up”.
41 year old here. Can confirm. I remember being 18 in my first apartment. I also remember doing a ton of stupid kid shit. My dad gave us a cucumber on our first night. Despite having no food in the house and a combined $6 between my girlfriend and I, we instead took that cucumber and hit it over my friends back so it broke in 2. Don’t worry, he was part of it. It’s not like I just randomly attacked my friend with vegitables. It was like the christening of a ship. Where they break a bottle of champaigne over the front. And then we all cheered…and then laughed, as my friend was still in deep pain.
41 now. 18 year old me was a stupid kid.
You probably don’t mention taxes and stocks enough.
Also, phrases like “back in the day” and “in my youth days” help.
When you are with people in person, try to sit straight and when standing/walking try to look like a superhero all times.
ok, being honest here.
i remember you from a while back (old posts) and being straight up, you do seem kinda young and childlike. I do not know how old you really are, but if i was guessing, 14-16.
Are you talking about me? 'cause I am like that.
The way the post is written reads like something written by someone in that age range too.
ok thanks, but i’m 21 yep!!
That may be your physical age, but the way you type and act online your mental age seems way younger.
no please don’t!!
I have a master II equivalent in material science and a specialization in nuclear reactors, 33 years.
The difference between being* a child or not, as I learned, is the facial hair.
Jokes aside, people perception of you depends strongly on the way you interact with them.
I deadass have been ID’d a single time since growing a beard- when I decided to try shaving it. It’s real lol.
It’s really hard to give you any advice if we don’t know you. It’d really require a longer conversation talking about you and your life, the situations you’ve been in, and so on.
If you’d like, we could have that conversation, just tell me.
I’m leaning towards a thought experiment bot at this point.
While I cant rule it out with chat GPT and AI the way it is today, I remember some of the posts they have made in other communities I’m in and I’m leaning to human. I recognize the writing style on multiple accounts, its unique for sure
If you just mean your relatives, it’s important to know that what constitutes ‘young’ changes as you age. As someone in their 30s now, early 20s and below feels young to me personally. If your relatives are much older than you, especially if they saw you growing up, it’s likely you’ll seem young to them forever. That isn’t to say you should be infantilized your whole life, but just that it stems from differences in perception. If you feel like you’re being treated lesser than other adults, try to tactfully explain how you feel. Maybe you’re feeling excluded and that hurts, or perhaps being called certain things is belittling to you. Ultimately though, the most important thing is that tact, because it’s very likely not malicious, your relatives likely aren’t trying to make you feel small or invalidated.
As for anyone else in the street, or perhaps online, there’s usually something that makes people naturally assume youth. I don’t know what you look like obviously, but online you typically have very little information to work with. Usually just the words that are spoken, and maybe an avatar to go along with it. A number of people have pointed out your typing style already. I won’t belabor the point, but I will say first impressions are extremely quick to make, and quite influential. I personally try to talk to anyone with tact and just ‘as a person’, but it’s something I feel doesn’t come naturally. I really only ended up doing it because I spent a long time in moderation type roles, having to mediate issues with people and events.
Tl;Dr: It sucks, but people probably aren’t doing it to hurt you. Talk patiently to them, also type more formally.
You are one of the very few users here on Lemmy I recognize, and it is not because you’ve been posting very intelligent things. In fact you posted this exact question once already (but seem to have deleted it by now).
I remember being 21 and I was more mature at 21 than you appear to be based on your post and comment history here, in fact I think I was more mature than you are now at around 14.
yes, i posted it again but that’s because i feel like i deleted it too soon, also really?? more mature at 14?? woa!! yea!! that seems like a very cool thing
You speak and act like a 13 year old trying to be a “mature adult”.
Also the idea of deleting a post then going oh whoops I wanted more feedback on that let me make another just seems odd. Like just make a post once and leave it, delete it if you get harrasedd about it I guess but don’t go making a new one in that case.
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I don’t know how it happens, but I agree with you. I don’t know how I’m able to recognize more users on Lemmy than on Reddit by how spammy their genuine posts and comments are.
I’ve blocked more people on Lemmy than on Reddit.
this sounds a bit harsh, but look at OPs history and its actually true.
Think of the people who seem to do this to you. Pick the one who trust the most. Now ask them.
