trying to not give too much away but this happened in my family. a relative who has quite severe autism and has been on benefits for something like 30 years (they are in their 60s) is not being given any money by their parents. the parents willed all their physical assets to their other child (with special clauses that the person should still be able to utilise them if they wish) and put any money they would have gotten into a trust that pays out monthly. the reasoning for this in that the person in question is unable to gauge the worth of money, and because they are constantly getting suckered into niche religious groups that want tithes (until they tire of their mannerisms and throw them out).

while it does sound ableist to say, i do really think this is for their own good. it falls on the rest of the family to look out for them now and we do try. both children did agree to this arrangement by the way.

I think a lot of it depends on the asset.

Cash and stock is easy to split amongst children, but a lot of families with generational wealth usually have wealth generated from ownership of a company.

I can see some parents choosing to keep the company together under streamlined ownership rather than breaking it up across several children. If you are choosing inheritance based on who would be the best person to run a company, you’re going to self select for certain personality traits.

Whatever the issue is, it clearly manifested long before the topic of inheritance came up

That’s absolutely ableist.

I would think a disabled person would need more money to survive in this world than someone not disabled.

The inheritance can be put into a special needs trust, to be used for the benefit of the child.

Structuring it to avoid having benefits clawed back does seem unethical but I would honestly do the same.

I don’t think there’s anything wrong with leaving everything in the hands of the most capable child along with the clear understanding that they’re now the one who is responsible for looking after the family.

No one is entitled to anyone’s inheritance. The ethics of the situation really depend on the details. Did one child look after the parents in their old age? Doe one child have more needs? Was there a promise to distribute everything evenly?

If the only reason for exclusion is because one child has depression or anxiety and isn’t the smartest, then that sounds pretty ableist and shitty. If the person really can’t manage the money, why not set up a trust designed to help them out without just handing over lump sums of cash? The one case where exclusion makes sense is if they require long term in patient care since at least in the US, all your money is eaten up by the medical bills before you default to Medicare (unless you have a stupid amount of money and can pay out of pocket for premium care forever)

I’m okay with not giving someone with disabilities and inheritance if it’ll fuck with any government money they’re getting for their disabilities. You have to handle money in that kind of situation very carefully. My mom is my life insurance beneficiary or whatever it’s called, but the money would be going to my sister. My sister is intellectually and physically disabled and cannot work. My parents handle her finances so she doesn’t lose her disability income, so my mom would be in charge of keeping that money for my sister and using it appropriately. When I make a will, most, if not all, of my shit (my house, car, etc) will go to my mom legally, but my mom knows my sister is the intended recipient and would help figure shit out.

It being “ethical” and it being “okay” are two seperate things. Ethics is mostly subjective. Most people would say it is unethical though. It isn’t illegal, you have the right to divide your assets as you wish, so that would make it “okay”.

Differentiating based on mental illness and your perceived value of a person based on their mental health struggles is plain wrong and not based in reality, unless said person is at a point of needing a caretaker to get by. Especially since a bunch of illnesses are hereditary. Stuff like ADHD can manifest in different ways. My brother is both hyperactive and has attention deficit. I only have the attention deficit part. Both of us lead normal lives. Our parents dividing assets based on the fact that he has it worse on that front, and giving more to me, would be plain wrong and nonsensical. Especially since I’m absolutely shit with money, and he isn’t.

Well, I have certainly seen the opposite. I have seen a number of cases where a parent has chosen to leave a significantly bigger portion of their estate to a disabled child because that child would need it.

Ethics is not an area in which there are right and wrong answers – just ethical principles that do or don’t appeal to you. For me, I think parents should have the right to decide how their wealth should be distributed without any “must be even for all children” constraints. But I would never choose to leave my least able-bodied child less for that reason.

I think it’s their money and they can do anything they want with it.

There are some circumstances where it makes sense. If you have a disability in the US, you cannot have money or you’ll lose your benefits

could make a special needs trust.

Yes it’s ethical.

Family business : you want the steward to keep it going, maintain reputations, and support the family.

Large sums of money: look at lottery winners, many, many of them have really bad lives because they are not ready for the responsibility of managing it. If the child isn’t ready for it…

There are options for children who arnt ready to inherit. Trusts, disbursements over time, annuities