I’ve been struggling with sleep issues for over a decade now. My Doctor has prescribed me all sorts of medication, all of which has had many adverse side effects. What I do know that works, is Xanax. My wife was prescribed it for some stress issues and occasionally will give me one so I can finally sleep. Obviously asking my Doctor, “can I have Xanax” Will not go well. I’ve eluded to it in ways and the response has always been along the lines of “that’s habit forming, I’d rather you try this”. Of the many medications prescribed, none have worked. Resorting to the dark web is something I’d really rather not do. Fentanyl laced drugs took my sister and it’s a road I hope to not have to explore. Any suggestions?
Proper meditation training, and I’m not talking about some quick-fix youtube video.
I’m talking about weeks or months of training, like you’d do at a gym for your body. Just sit down, and focus on not thinking. You’re going to fail a lot as your mind tries to wander, but keep practicing until you can do it for longer and longer. Do this before bed each night, and don’t stimulate yourself in any way (no electronics, no book, no talking, no eating) between the meditation and the sleeping.
Also, trying to have a routine for your bedtime is excellent. Make it into a ritual so your brain gets used to it. Meditate, Go get a glass of water, Put it on your bedside table in the same spot, then go pee, remove and put your clothes in the hamper, climb into bed, get into your preferred sleeping position, and then I usually continue the meditation and I’m out before I know it.
Do this process slowly, there’s no rush. Calm everything. It takes time to complete, but it’s still faster than laying awake for hours like I used to.
Sounds like hokey bullshit, but it works amazingly. It’s like counting sheep on steroids (to continue the gym metaphor)
Thanks for the advice!
deleted by creator
Thanks so much for all this. I only intake caffeine, marijuana and alcohol. Going to start weening myself off coffee for sure and I’m always trying to minimize the other two. Going to spend some months this summer relearning how to live.
deleted by creator
Alcohol used to wreck my sleep. I’d come home, dog-tired at 7 PM, have a few (and a few more) drinks, look up and 6 hours had passed.
I ended up burning out, and having to quit both booze and weed. It was the best thing that ever happened to me. Along with all the obvious health, psychological and financial benefits, I sleep amazingly well now.
Wow. I just want to say thank you for such a thoughtful, informed, detailed response. You are an amazing person!
deleted by creator
Here is my best suggestion and it is serious. NO CAFFEINE after lunch. Period. No naps. Go to bed early every night at the same time. Wake up early to start your day. Drink lots of water every day.
Als, your bed is for sleeping (and sexy times). No phones, no tv, no distraction.
Go camping together. Nothing fancy, just a weekend at a park with a small tent and backpacks.
Let your team know you’ll be unreachable. Once there, phones off. No working. Just walk and talk, rest and eat, explore your surroundings, focus on what and who is in front of you.
You may not sleep well on night 1, but you will on night 2, especially if you covered some ground that day. The morning after night 3, however, will be the most well-rested you’ve felt in a some time. The effect carries to subsequent nights, then eventually wears off, but can give you the chance to restructure your days for better sleep in the long term. Use as needed.
I’ve been meaning to go to Yosemite and see the redwoods, maybe it’s time for a road trip!
I’m not a doctor, and certainly not your doctor. But agree with the comment about anxiety - if the Xanax helps, you are treating anxiety that’s keeping you awake, right?
Have you tried running? Or some other tiring physical activity? I’m wound pretty tight and without physical exercise, preferably to the point of exhaustion, it’s very difficult for my brain to let go. But with physical exhaustion from physical activity comes mental relaxation.
You know the Xanax helps, are there other times you’ve had good sleep? Do you know what the conditions were that let you fall and stay asleep?
Also one of my kids got relief by taking Adderall, as counterintuitive as that sounds, helping the ADD helped her sleep even though she was taking literal speed. So please go to a doctor who can evaluate you for anything that might be going on in your mind, you might have room for more improvement than you think. And really - exercise.
if the Xanax helps, you are treating anxiety that’s keeping you awake, right?
I am also not a doctor, but I just want to point out that xans can knock you out regardless of anxiety. I absolutely do not have anxiety, but I go straight to sleep if I recreationally take xans. Snorting some roxy’s and passing out doesn’t mean you’ve treated underlying pain you didn’t know you had either, you’re just taking something that’s a sedative and becoming sedated.
Correlation vs causation and all that.
I cannot believe I forgot yin yoga. Yin yoga knocks me out better than drugs. Do it in the bed. Lots of forward folds calms your nerves, tricks your brain into feeling safe. You can look them up online, and do them all with pillows stuffed in the spaces where you can’t reach (like if you are bending over your legs put a pillow between your belly and legs) don’t use effort. Hold each pose a long time - 4-6 minutes.
Seconding the recommendation for Nidra too, but Yin I find works better to lull my brain into sleep in an acute situation. Nidra is more like trippy, relaxing and between awake and asleep, healing in the long term.
One thing I read that stayed with me was “vigilance is the enemy of sleep”. Since you are so stressed with work, probably your mind stays on alert. It’s counterproductive but normal, it’s like it thinks it’s your turn to watch for threats all night long. The yin yoga fights that feeling very well.
I have an unusual amount of fucked up shit that’s happened in my life and enough demons pulling on me to end the story. I have some months off soon so I’m going to focus on health and wellness hopefully. I started hiking at sunrise, which was great for a few months. I have the bad habit of reverting.
In addition to good sleep hygiene and trying to get a sleep study as others have suggested, a white noise machine that you turn on only at bedtime is great as a “go to sleep” signal for your brain. It also should make you less likely to wake up from noise during the night.
I take gabapentin at night to help me sleep, and it works pretty well. It’s non addictive so I’m not worried about dependency. But it works well for me because of what’s stopping me from sleeping (nerve pain). Without pinpointing why you can’t sleep well it’s going to be hard to treat it.
I can second the white noise. I fall asleep to a mix of rain, wind and rolling thunder pretty much every night. It probably takes about half the time it used to now that I do it as a habit.
Thanks for the advice, I have a Snooz white noise machine and love it.
So I have some experience with this and have a few things I want to tell you:
Consider a dedicated sleep study. If you have sleep apnea, medication will not fix your problem and some medications may actually make it worse.
Xanax (an anxiety medication) and Ambien (a sleep medication) are very similar drugs with respect to their mechanism of action. Xanax binds to a specific group of receptors to cause anxiolytic effects and happens to also make you sleepy. Ambien binds to a subset of those same receptors to make you sleepy, but don’t have the strong anxiety reducing effect. If Xanax works for you, Ambien should theoretically have a similar effect. In practice, it doesn’t tend to work as well because anxiety can keep you awake. If that has been your experience with Ambien, think about taking some steps to address anxiety even if you don’t think it’s that bad. Yoga, counseling, meditation, whatever. There are also guided breathing audio sessions designed to put you to sleep in apps like Fitbit and calm that may be helpful.
You can also supplement a prescription sleep aid with something non prescription, which is what I do. I take Ambien, and to keep my dose low I supplement with melatonin, tryptophan, and valerian root when I need an extra kick into sleepiness. I’ve heard CBD is also quite effective for this. Magnesium reportedly also helps with restful sleep, but get a sleep formulation because magnesium in the wrong form causes diarrhea.
Don’t underestimate sleep hygiene. For a long time I had the attitude of “I have real sleep problems, basic stuff like cutting back caffeine is not going to help.” The thing is, when taken together, that kind of stuff actually can help tremendously. I scheduled a month where I went hardcore on sleep hygiene. Strict caffeine limits, no late caffeine or exercise, don’t do anything on your bed but sleep and sex, wake up at the same early time every day even when you don’t have to, limit screens before, bed… I mean ALL of it. I found that it actually really helped. In combination with medication it might be a life saver. Might be worth doing your own experiment with it.
Good luck!
Thanks for the advice! I have a few months off this summer so going to dedicate that time to relearning how to live, hah
doc doesn’t want to perscribe you xanax because xanax will stop working and this fucks up many other things in the process
Ahh ok. That makes sense, while it works great, long term it doesn’t seem to be a solution.
It’s a really bad solution honestly. Benzo withdrawal can kill you and it’s extremely habit forming. Especially if you’re using it to treat insomnia, finding a way to stop taking it is gonna be tough.
No solution provided, just giving some caution and saying that using Xanax to sleep is roughly equivalent to getting drunk to sleep. Both affect your GABA receptors and both are habit forming and dangerous to withdrawal from.
Listening to a slightly boring audiobook has been the most consistently effective method I’ve found. Also, I had to give up caffeine.
Ahh man, giving up caffeine is going to be brutal
deleted by creator
but gaining sleep is quite worth it.
also consider a hot bath/spa.
its all about relaxing your thoughts and your muscles. stop trying to figure things out and let go.
im surprised i havent seen more mention of deep breathing. if you can relax all your muscles and then drop your breathing down to 8 seconds a breathe, you should drift off to sleep within a few minutes.
I’ve of taking some meditation classes or something. The stress has taken its toll on my health and I don’t know how much more my body can take.
you have to figure out if the stress source is worth it to you. maybe you can change your work situation or expectations. maybe its a combination of 10 things and you can control 3 of them.
I’m a freelance video editor for reality tv. It’s extremely stressful, especially now with the state of the industry. I’ve let my other skills (used to be a programmer and designer in the video game industry) decay far too much and frankly that industry isn’t faring too well either. There’s really no great answer for my occupation. I just really need to learn how to manage the stresses of life for another 10-15 years before I can retire. Just hoping I can make it to that goal.
maybe make a list of 20 places you’d rather work and reach out to them. and set some boundaries with your crazy family members.
I understand where you’re coming from but it’s not that simple. I’m freelance, it’s all gig based.
Decaf soda is also good. A little harder to find but it won’t beat up your stomach like caffeinated soda.
I jumped off the soda train long ago. I just drink way too much coffee, it’s going to be tough to give that one up
Maybe go half-caff for awhile?
I’m going to try. I once ditched coffee entirely for tea, but it weaseled it’s way back in with it’s seductive deliciousness.
It’s easier if you cut back first so your body gets used to having less of it. I started by only having any before 12pm, then 10am, then I cut out energy drinks entirely, then I’d do part decaf coffee until I finally went full decaf. I definitely noticed some headaches and felt kind of shit occasionally but I don’t remember it being too terrible.
Never tried decaf but I’ll give it a go. Love me some black coffee.
Are you seeing a family doctor, or a sleep specialist? You want the latter, and a sleep study.
The classes of drugs that might help are imperfect at best, I’d be partial to a benzo before e.g., Ambien or related, given the inherent risks of sleepwalking and worse with those drugs.
I’m going to do a sleep study this summer. I have some months off so my plan is to focus on health and wellness.
Good choice, and as hard as it is, trust the boring “drop caffiene” and bedtime advice. After a few weeks your body will acclimate to the timing, too. Honestly though, the best thing for me is a long weekend backpacking trip. After a day or so of strenuous hiking, and a terrible first night sleep, it’s like your body sees the sun set and is like “I’m done”. Can really reset your clock.
Thanks! Definitely going to ween myself off coffee this summer. Finishing up an edit gig now and it’s all that keeps me cranking
Do a sleep study when it’s possible, OP. If it’s sleep apnea, a proper CPAP therapy can definitely help.
I need to do this. My dentist recommended I should get a study, can’t remember why, but he referenced something about my tongue / mouth.
Sometimes when I’m sleepless for few nights, what I do is workout, try my finish my work for the next day and get myself really tired. Also try to calm your mind before going to sleep, too many thoughts can keep your brain active. Also try changes mattress, blankets and pillows ( the shape matters as well as the material ).
Thanks for the advice. I definitely need to learn how to calm my mind. Going to take a meditation class or something along those lines.
Music also helps me. Try Lo-fi music. Use any music player app with a timer. A good pillow was a game changer as well.
I have had frequent problems with sleep too. Due to trauma I have no memories up that come up when I’m about to sleep.
Suggestion from me is fine a good therapist, not for medication but to understand why exactly ots happening, if it’s physical or mental. It’s ok and completely understandable to deal a therapist and talk to your doctor more to not try to necessarily solve it. But to figure why it happing in the first place.
Get a therapist that doesn’t try to fix you or try to make you fit into mold. Therapist are supposed to help you discover things about yourself and understand your self better.
This is from my decade’s long experience with mental and physical health problems.
As a pessimistic introvert who generally avoids people at all costs, it seems so against my grain. But what I’ve been doing has obviously not been working. Hoping I can find someone genuine out there.
I love that some douche downvoted this. What a miserable slob you’d need to be.
deleted by creator
Not a doctor, but I believe people should be careful with selfmedicating melatonine. Each person needs a different amount and at different times to make it effective. Too much melatonine can actually make you sleepy during daytime, or have an adverse effect on sleep. Get help from a sleeping expert on whether this is right for you.
Rest of the tips are great.
Too much melatonin–about about 5mg for most people–tends to cause nightmares.
Agree wholeheartedly with this comment and the parent comment.
It’s frustrating to hear but sleep hygiene is the answer for the vast majority of people.
Xanax and benzos in general will make your sleep worse in the long term. Medium term even. They should be avoided.
weed
