Authorities in the Russian Republic of Chechnya have announced a ban on music that they consider too fast or slow.
Are they just late for 1st of April?
April 1st was too fast for them so they opted to use April 8th.
April 9th would have meant straight to jail!
They’re inching closer to the plot of Footloose.
There are so many movies that I’ve said, “that’s stupid, it would never happen”. I don’t say that anymore.
At this rate, I fully expect an article about a community buying gatorade in bulk to water their plants with
Well, it is what plants crave.
It has electrolytes
I guess Low is going to have to cancel their Chechnya tour.
RIP the Chechen Drum n Bass scene 😢
DragonForce is out, RIP through the fire and flames.
Ideas for the revolution
Lol
Doom metal and hardcore unite
I think these guys need to hear a few words from our lord and savior Mick Gordon.
80-115 bpm only.
What is their legal definition of a beat?
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You? Jail!
Rimsky-Korsakov is rolling in his grave
saving us from the national menace that is cotton eye joe.
I’m sorry, where did this come from? Where did this go?
Where did it come from cotton eye Joe?
The Russian national anthem is 76 beats per minute lol….
Which is banned
So did they do this to ban the Russian anthem intentionally??
Hmmmm
Your logic isn’t very patriotic. Please allow yourself to be escorted to the nearest window.
Fundies gonna fundie.
Huh. Guess they don’t like extratone
There’s a strong chance you don’t have many extratone records in your collection. An electronic genre that operates at a tempo of 1,000 beats per minute, and can sometimes hit the startling realms of 10,000 BPM, extratone is an acquired taste to say the least—and possibly just a smidgen out of your standard tempo comfort zone
John Cage’s As Slow As Possible is also right out.
What BPM is 4’33" though? lol
Banned, that’s what
LPT: lower the volume before listening to anything on the link or risk losing your speakers.
At least it should do wonders for the singers’ diction.
TIL my car has been making speedcore every day for the last decade.
The Skat Injector song in the article sounded like annoying noise. But I could actually vibe a little bit to the song by Gridbug.
But mostly it just sounds like noise and not actual music to me (Like my ears don’t even seem to interpret it as music). Still interesting!
Music too fast? Straight to jail.
Music too slow? Believe it or not, straight to jail.
Straight to jail! Right away!
Thanks to jail we have the most moderate musical tempo in the world!
Just a little bit too perfect? Burned for witchcraft
and after the burning, whatever is left, straight to jail.
Sounds like a healthy form of governance. People can’t be trusted to manage tempo on their own. They should do this for heart rates as well.
We have the technology
Checks out. If your heart rate is too slow or too fast you’re probably doing a sin.
VladBit health health trackers now mandatory. Better keep yours charged up or gulag for you.
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