I have seen in many US shows where they portray guys who are living with parents as losers, or there are jokes or memes about it, I never get it.
in the US, we value independence - and living with your parents after you’re 18 is the polar opposite, or so society would lead you to believe.
Implication is that you’re incapable of being self sufficient.
Too broke to move out, your parents still cook for you / do your laundry, can’t bring a girl home without your parents hearing you get it on, etc.
Implication is that you’re incapable of being self sufficient.
Holdover stereotype from when living on your own with a service job was realistically doable. Which just flat out is not the case in most cities now.
Although not wanting your parents hear you bang is totally fair.
Agreed. I think this is more of a late 90s / early 2000s thing. It’s become more acceptable today for sure, especially if you’re going to university or something.
Love my family, would hate living with them - just because we are very different people.
Fully agree with you there. I can never fully relax around family and it’d probably be a nightmare living with them.
This dates back to when buying a house in your twenties wasn’t a crazy idea out of a science fiction novel.
I think folks are missing a huge cultural point of moving out with roommates. It’s culturally acceptable to move away from parents but live with like 3+ roommates starting with college / university and then well into establishing your career. I did this and most folks I know did this in Canada. Honestly some of the greatest times of my life. I and my roommates moved out at 18 to do this and I wouldnt have done it any other way. So many great independence skills came up during that time and just a great sense of freedom (even with working and school being a huge part of everything)
Ok this is a super fascinating intersection of American social history
So the first thing you have to always keep in mind when thinking about Americans and their behavior is that the country was founded by people so absurdly religious that the British kicked them out. Then, along with some wealthy land owners, they said “fuck off” right back to the crown, declared “no take-backs”, and went on about 100 years of aggressive westward expansion.
If you’re not familiar with the phrase “manifest destiny” it’s worth looking up. It’s fundamental to American society
Fast forward a bit to post-WWII and the economic boom of the time. “The American Dream” - and the promise to our returning soldiers - was owning your own house with a yard, wife, kids, dog, and a car. And given our history, and the return of thousands and thousands of young men from the war, that kinda became the measuring stick of basic success: moving out.
And of course since America is the land of opportunity, if you can’t do even that much, you’ve only got yourself to blame /s
We all know the meme of “striking out on your own” as a symbol of maturity. This is just what happens when “striking out on your own” becomes a cultural identity
Are you there yet?
I am now! Just edited
Makes things awkward when you want to bring a lady back to your place.
High rent is why you learn the art of silent sex
Especially when one of your parents goes on about how Mexicans or Puerto Ricans don’t have any motivation and only want to collect money from the government and your only sibling is married to a woman who is a lawyer. (Half Puerto Rican)
I’m trying to find these places that a single person can afford because God damn, I can’t imagine that conversation being any less awkward with a roommate. “Like, hey bro, I know this is your place too and all, but you mind leaving for a bit so we can fuck for a while?”
It’s way less awkward when it’s a roommate. When I’ve had roommates and it’s the first time having a particular person over, everyone just kinda knows and no one needs to say anything.
So it’s more like:
“…”
“Oh yeah, I just remembered I was supposed to meet someone, see ya later bro!”
But generally even that’s rare. Mostly it’s just “[yawn]… I think I’ll turn in, enjoy the rest of the movie, you two!”
Unless you’re sharing a bedroom with someone. But I’ve done this too, so someone has to sleep on the coach or whatever. So yeah that can be awkward. But still way less awkward than taking someone home to meet the parents when you just started dating.
How old are you?
It comes from the Individualism ideology that Western culture holds dear. Americans just hold it tighter. It can be argued that the cause of this is American capitalism, which has greater focus on measuring success by one’s ability to consume (can you afford it, how much can you afford, are you self-reliant, your ability to consume more and better than you did last year).
I’d add on that the expectation in an individualist society like the US is to become independent and move out. Those ideas are used synonymously in a lot of contexts. Someone who hasn’t moved out can be seen as lacking independence. Of course that isn’t necessarily true, but it’s the perception.
For a young person growing up with these ideas as the standard, there can be a certain safety in forgoing that independence. That was my situation for years, where I was financially independent, but moved back home after my roommates moved away. I was in my mid twenties before I moved out for good.
My parents suck. If you have to put up with their shit you’re definitely a loser.
Glad I don’t live with your parents.
Seing how most US parrents raise their children, I do believe you.
It’s a disgrace - but only because the system is so messed up. I’m old enough to own my own house but my kids probably never will unless they live with me well into their 30s and save like crazy. My generation and those before me have screwed up the housing market.
I have to admit it’s refreshing to hear from the haves acknowledging it was their and prior generations that fucked things up instead of accusing the younger generations of being lazy.
Because then you can’t yodel while fucking your girlfriend/boyfriend.
This is one reason “love hotels” are a thing in Japan where multi-generational living and/or thin walls are very common.
Well, you can… it’ll just be really uncomfortable around the dinner table afterward.
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Some people get paid to live there and clean the place, but it’s becoming a thing of the past as the individual tasks get compartmentalized by specialist jobs. Why hire a full time custodian, landscaper, heavy equipment operator, and records keeper extraordinaire when you could just hire part timers and contractors for each as needed?
are you from east or southeast or south Asia
Yes
American culture values independence and individualism. The perception is that if you don’t “move out” it’s because you are dependent. If you decide to take care of your parents later, they move in with you and not the other way around.
In 10 years, that will be the norm.
