like being told to “move my fat ass” or just plain annoying and then telling me they were joking.
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Along with assholes testing boundaries that others have said. It can also be someone trying to be witty and speaking before they processed the implications of what they said. I know I have done that but I also showed regret when telling someone I meant it in jest.
Your examples are clearly not that though they were just an ass and didn’t want to deal with the consequences of being such.