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“The CDC is recommending citizens do a colon cleanse and to make appointments to consult with their acupuncturists to see if a chakra alignment may be needed.”
If that doesn’t work than just attach two leeches to each nipple for 2 hours every day until the fever subsides.
For really persistent cases, please use the emergency crystals.
If it’s Kansas City Missouri it’ll be chiropractors.
…and for the final cleaning, shove a UV lamp down your throat until it exits your butthole.
