Finally, a computer analogy that’s not about cars
Batmobile
haha php bad, kill yourself 👌 lolol 💯👌👌😂😂😂
If you’re going to make these “If programming languages were X” jokes, at least be a little bit creative with them.
PHP is a sturdy club. You aren’t going to take over the world with it but you can reliably put a dent in something.
but like, wasn’t facebook written in php and didn’t it kind of take over, about as much as any programming whatzit ever has? (not saying that was a good thing, but yeah…)
Facebook has used Hack for a long time now, which is very different from PHP these days. It’s entirely statically typed with a bunch of advanced features that PHP doesn’t have.
Yahoo used a lot of PHP too, back when they were still very popular.
I mean, PHP is used on at least ~35% of sites (based on the number of sites that run WordPress), so PHP itself has already taken over the world :)
It’s an old sharepic, they didn’t make it.
ADA is an F-22 Raptor. Effective and functional, but you can’t have one.
It’s a pretty good representation of Rust, being 3d printed means that it’s the only gun where you can’t shoot yourself in the foot
Yet
[flips safety off[
But it can just blow up in your face
C++ and ruby are weird, especially since C is somehow considered a reliable rifle. Rust betrays it’s age
I watched Jon Gjenset’s stream where he implemented the beginnings of a BitTorrent client in Rust and of the four hours about 25% of it was spent wrestling with quirks in serde and reqwest.
It was pretty discouraging watching a pro have to fight the ecosystem so hard.
How long ago was this? I think the ecosystem got waaay better in the last 1-2 years. 3-4 years ago it was rough but shit still worked with a bit of trouble.
Two days ago lol
Eh, that’s unfortunate. Yeah the whole ecosystem is still a bit wonky, probably more wonky than most popular languages but tbh I rarely used a stack that just worked out of the box, it almost always took some dicking around, I’d rather do the dicking around with a language that doesn’t always seem to work against me.
C is very reliable. It works almost everywhere with very little resources or overhead and many of the most fundamental parts of our systems (that have to work reliably) are written in C. Many of the languages in that image are even implemented in C.
If you want to write portable, fast, and simple code C can help you with that if you use it in the right way.
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The old joke is that C++ is an octopus made by nailing legs to a dog.
So it should probably be a rifle-chaku made by connecting two Garands with a chain.
C# vs Java is also really weird since C# started out as basically a Java clone.
The M1 Garand is known for having a problem during reloading where you have to stick your thumb in a slot that’s about to shut very hard. There are techniques to avoid getting pinched, but “Garand thumb” is a well-known phrase among vintage rifle enthusiasts.
This fits C very well.
As does C#. The Windows-specific parts are not the parts most developers will use these days.
I took it as the donkey being .NET
C# is .Net though. It’s only syntax without it.
I think it’s definitely a dig at windows, because that used to be the primary issue with c#, you could only really target windows and you could only write it using windows. You could run .net framework applications on Linux, but it was a lot of work and it really underperformed (which would fit the timeline of 2015, when this comic was first posted). Now with .net core you can make a self contained executable that can run on anything.
You can even compile to a native executable these days I believe so you don’t have to have the .net runtime installed or bundled.
2015? I’m sure last time I saw this it was way before 2015
And does anything require Python v2 anymore? I work almost exclusively in Python and haven’t run into that in many years.
Python v2 was sunset in 2020. So only legacy software.
Someone should tell Ubuntu (or Debian, I’m guessing).
C is a knife. The basic thing you can build weapons (programming languages) with.
Or a screwdriver?
Yes. Knives can also be used as screwdrivers for fasteners with a “blade” or “flat” head.
It’s a screwdriver without a head because you have to build it yourself
You are confusing C with UNIX
same difference
C is reliable in the sense that your C program reliably has memory leaks and security holes.
Unlike your Java program amirite.
The benefit of java is that you didn’t write the security holes in your software.
Programmers can trust language security features too much…
Of course, they’re nice to have and really can make things easier to implement securely but it’s still very easy to introduce security problems or bugs into any code. This is just an unsolvable problem of writing imperative code. All imperative code will reliably have memory leaks (even in Java!) and security holes because no compiler can check to see if you thought of everything.
And large and complex compilers/interpreters with these security features can end up introducing their own security problems or bugs in the process of implementing them.
I’m just tired of people entirely dismissing languages like C because they don’t have these features. Especially when the operating systems their code runs on and their languages may even be implemented in C!
It’s a “tool for the job” game. I don’t trust a junior developer to write a login system. I’ve found security flaws in login systems written by senior developers who “know what they’re doing TM”. Unless I’m the expert in a given domain, it’s better to trust something written by those experts.
For the record (since it’s fixed anyway), I discovered a common login timing vulnerability on one of our production systems that had been in place for nearly 15 years. Luckily we didn’t have enough traffic for anyone to notice it before me.
because no compiler can check to see if you thought of everything.
We can try to get closer to that with better language design. You’ll never get there but I think there are obvious benefits as to why you’d want to do that.
I write way less bugs in Rust than I have in Java or C++, and that’s mostly thanks to the language design.
I’m just tired of people entirely dismissing languages like C because they don’t have these features. Especially when the operating systems their code runs on and their languages may even be implemented in C!
Because that code has been review and re-reviewed and patched by experts in the field for years. You’re not gonna write a backend for an app with short deadlines in C because that would be absolutely fucking insane.
Right tool for the right job. C is a stupid choice for most modern apps but it’s indispensable for embedded stuff
Buffer overflows were last seen on the OWASP top 10 list in 2004. Favoring of anything else over C for most things is a pretty obvious reason why. A language change destroyed an entire class of bugs.
I don’t trust Masterlock, so I’m gonna make my own lock out of duct tape, then tape scissors to the door to use as the key.
Way too kind to Java. Otherwise, pretty accurate.
(I just hate Java. Lol. Despite writing it 40 hours a week.)
Rust is correct. Mostly ignore as useless, but is the safest and reliable weapon, on a good hands can hit someone hard and kill it.
Rust used to be correct in 2014 when this was made. It’s pretty fucking good, now
It’s fitting that 3D printed guns have also come a long way.
It’s funny because people describe PowerShell as powerful, but really they mean it’s also a hammer to mash everything with. “Powerfull!”
I use PowerShell to mass smash unblock DLLs in Windows 10
Powershell suffers from the typical Microsoft problem: Ignore for decades, and then go completely over the top with it.
I see Powershell as a nuclear bomb. It is extremely powerful and complex and barely anybody uses it because of it.
Isn’t powershell just bash but for windows?
Yes and no. They serve roughly the same purpose.
I actually hated Powershell until I was forced to work on some automation scripts with it and realized that it’s actually pretty cool.
Bash is good for quickly doing something in the terminal but for longer script files I prefer PS now. It feels much more modern and has a less janky syntax.
Funnily enough the reason I had to use it was to make my scripts cross platform between osx, linux and windows.
Powershell is so much more than bash, not in a derogatory way.
It’s a full fledged object oriented programming language, and it’s written in .Net I believe. You can integrate tons of plugins to manage your whole infra (exchange, Cisco, AD, VMware etc), just from the Powershell shell.
I hate it because it’s slow, clunky and overly complex for its prime use, which is scripting.People tend to hate on PowerShell but it’s cross-platform these days, and far easier to write than shell scripts once you understand the syntax.
You can pipe objects between functions, rather than just string streams like in Bash. Often there’s no
cut,sed,grep, etc needed as what you want is probably a property on an object.It’s not just a basic scripting language like Bash. It’s built on top of .NET, so most of things you can do in C#, you can also do in PowerShell (and if not, you can call into C# code).
It’s especially popular for administration of Windows systems - if there’s anything you want to do on a Windows system, it’s likely there’s a PowerShell module for it.
This reminds me of shooting yourself in the foot in various programming languages
LISP is most accurate
I, too, have met Richard Stallman.
(I kid. Mostly. He’s amazing in so many ways, but he’s a little off sometimes.)
Nice seeing Mathematica and Lisp mentioned. I feel like Marvin the Martian after reading.
Its a travesty that MATLAB isn’t in there somewhere.
I feel like python would be an AR-15 or something, generic modern weapon that’s easy to use but doesn’t really do anything special
Definitely better than this outdated version. Nobody uses Python2 unless they want to at this point
That hose got me a company and many good jobs, still loving the hose to build.grrwt projects. I love my PHP
I learned perl to make IRC bots and to customize bulletin boards in the late 90s, early aughts.
I owe a lot to that language as it impressed a woman with my skills in it. I got my first marriage and eldest son out of it.
Funny. I learnt perl to make an IRC bot. I didn’t even get a tee shirt, let alone a wife and son
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