Millennials are about to be crushed by all the junk their parents accumulated.
Every time Dale Sperling’s mother pops by for her weekly visit, she brings with her a possession she wants to pass on. To Sperling, the drop-offs make it feel as if her mom is “dumping her house into my house.” The most recent offload attempt was a collection of silver platters, which Sperling declined.
“Who has time to use silver? You have to actually polish it,” she told me. “I’m like, ‘Mom, I would really love to take it, but what am I going to do with it?’ So she’s dejected. She puts it back in her car.”
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Sperling’s conundrum is familiar to many people with parents facing down their golden years: After they’ve acquired things for decades, eventually, those things have to go. As the saying goes, you can’t take it with you. Many millennials, Gen Xers, and Gen Zers are now facing the question of what to do with their parents’ and grandparents’ possessions as their loved ones downsize or die. Some boomers are even still managing the process with their parents. The process can be arduous, overwhelming, and painful. It’s tough to look your mom in the eye and tell her that you don’t want her prized wedding china or that giant brown hutch she keeps it in. For that matter, nobody else wants it, either.
Much has been made of the impending “great wealth transfer” as baby boomers and the Silent Generation pass on a combined $84.4 trillion in wealth to younger generations. Getting less attention is the “great stuff transfer,” where everybody has to decipher what to do with the older generations’ things.
And yet I am watching a re-resurgence of collecting crap began anew. Take vinyl for example: heavy, bulky, environmentally awful and on par with if not worse sounding than alternatives. But people want something tangible. Which I am also beginning to see with old collectables. Also art: there is a movement to get physical art since digital is not tangible and possibly not even made by a human.
China, silver, and plastic ware: I have seen an uptick in those as well which is bizarre. Is it just a matter of time till the cycle comes around again?
What the article doesn’t say is the stuff is all there is - there’s no money. Just stuff.
So if you throw it out, your inheiritance is nothing, otherwise you have to be come an online seller which - if you’re not already you know why you’re not already.
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There are multiple whole entire industries dedicated to fleecing such individuals. Health care in the USA for one… Donald Trump’s campaign to name another…
Cool can we get this over with and have the generation just die off? Thanks.
That is precisely the problem the article is about.
I don’t know if you realize it, but each “generation” is actually a group of diverse individuals with their own character traits and behaviors. Demographers strain to lump them together with some attributes that are more common for them than for other groups. That certainly doesn’t make them a monolith.
Tarring all members of a group as the same, especially when their membership in that group is due to an accident of birth, would be considered bigotry in enlightened circles. Wishing them dead is much worse.
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It’s the 1% vs the working class, not generation vs generation.
My dad just passed and I got a box of ninja swords and a telescope. He didn’t even have any pictures. I wish I had stuff to remember him by but he was destitute the end of his life.
If that were me, I’d use the telescope to remember him. We’re all made of the stuff of stars. Everything inside of you is due to supernovas. Every time you look at the stars, you’re looking at what made us all, including your dad.
Yeah it is. We used to use it when I was a kid. I gotta clean it though. Thick cigarette dust coats everything he left me.
Im sorry for your loss. But I am also incredibly curious about the box of ninja swords. Were these mall ninja swords or legit swords from Japan?
Mall ninja swords mostly. Some bokkens and knives too.
There are fencing leagues that use real swords you could try to find.
There’s a HEMA gym by me. I’ve thought about it before but I don’t know if I would stick with it and it seems like a steep buy in.
We are not a sentimental age
We don’t want our parent’s china or their ticker-tape parades
We are not a sentimental age
We’re out getting high on fire escapes
We are hooking up with strangers we will never see again
We are not a sentimental age
We are not a sentimental age
…
We are not a sentimental age
On our shoulders is a boulder of a debt we cannot pay
We are not a sentimental age
Diagnosis says I tend to disengage
I’d rather have my privacy, I’d rather have my space
These are just the pills I have to take
We are not a sentimental age
The universal accumulation of stuff in western (& western influenced) societies:
- landfills & shit pools instead of remediation & recycling
- oil & plastics as a life blood (subsidized by governments)
- consumerism over creation
- marketing: “corporations will produce better things for us and solutions to our problems” hogwash
I’m given hope, hearing recent art show in California is entirely made from trash.
That said, our inheritance is banks of shit & “trash”, oil & plastics centric toxic energy-hole, and a society that subscribes to corporate dependence.
Wake! Create! Remediate!
I feel like I just read a Dr. Bronner’s soap bottle label.
Personally, I think we should bring back the custom of grave goods. If there’s some precious heirloom that holds sentimental significance to a person but isn’t otherwise valuable or useful, why not bury it with them?
I’m already thinking about getting some land and making an “indefinite time capsule” for storing a bunch of stuff that I have no use for but that I wouldn’t want to see go off to a landfill for sentimental reasons.
Seeding the land for the next generation of American pickers?
Every time I pass a cemetery, I think, there’s a million bucks in jewelry just sitting there.
We’d need to take some cues from how the ancients did it. Either arrange for long term security, like the Egyptians, or rely on secrecy, like the Mongols. It won’t work forever, but as long as it works for a couple of generations I’d be satisfied.
One idea that comes to mind for modern grave goods would be to bury them in a nuclear waste disposal facility.
Bring back kurgans and put parks on them.
I don’t think we want to give an incentive to plunder nuclear waste.
“This necklace is beautiful, but why does the air taste like metal?”
At my grandmother’s funeral, she wore her jewelry for the viewing but it was quietly removed by the funeral home folks and handed to my mother before the burial. So there might be less jewelry than you’d expect.
Your mother is a grave robber. Smart woman.
I didn’t mind the wedding ring, but I do wish they’d let Grandma be buried in her cheap costume jewelry. Let the dead woman have her bling.
Same funeral, my aunt asked me accusingly if the pearl necklace I was wearing came from Grandma’s jewelry chest. It didn’t. Grandma didn’t own pearls.
I’m thinking more along the lines of future archaeologists. We learn so much about ancient cultures from what they bury with their dead, I figure we should return the favor.
Geez they had a lot of absolute tat!
“Why the fuck was this man burried in a refrigerator and why the fuck was it set on fire?” I want these to be the exact words for when my inevitable redneck viking funeral is done.
Friends… relations… Whatever the hell Meatwad is… I’ve lived a full life. It’s actually been pretty bitchin’. But now, regrettably, my life has been taken. Please bury me with all my stuff, because you know it’s mine…
Was that the one where he kills himself so he can haunt Meatwad?
ed: Oh yeah, s3e1 “Video Ouija”.
“Dearest Meatwad, turn on that dumb game cause I’m gonna whale on you from beyond the grave!”
I of course remembered Billy Witchdoctor but for some reason I didn’t think it was from the same ep.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Aqua_Teen_Hunger_Force_season_3?useskin=vector
Ultra mega chicken
So… a storage unit?
No.
Bury me with my sweet vice I scored for free that one day.
I love that your last paragraph explains that you want to avoid things going into a landfill by reinventing a landfill.
Yes, but it’s a curated and cataloged landfill.
There’s rather a big difference between a time capsule and a landfill.
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You’ve made a heck of a lot of assumptions about how a time capsule like this would be set up. But even so, how is being mined for raw materials better than having some of my stuff be misattributed?
No. We do not do nuance here
About to be? My dad and mom are TV level hoarders. It’s going to take dumpsters to clean their houses. And very little to none of it is worth anything.
Estate sale my boy. You will actually come out ahead… it’s whoever buys responsibility to throw the garbage away.
I am thinking of doing an estate sale on myself. :-/
Going through this with my MIL. My wife is hurt that she got cut out of the decision-making, but it has been somewhat of a blessing in disguise in that her older siblings are the ones having to handle disposal of the decades’ worth of knickknacks lining every wall in her house.
When we bought our current house, the previous owners had the basement walls covered with framed pictures of various things (I don’t remember what all they were - likely family and friends, that sort of thing). When we stopped by for the inspection or something, I noticed the trash was out, and one can that was open on the top was filled with those pictures.
That moment really reinforced the point that all the crappy knick-knacks we have laying around will likely also end up in the trash someday. We’ve definitely reduced our purchases of stuff like that and try to stick to stuff we’ll actually use.
My grandmother recently died. Her son and his awful wife couldn’t wait to swoop in and take all her stuff. I actually didn’t mind though. They took all the tvs and old fur coats. Me and my brother got the pictures they left on the walls and the silly fridge magnets she liked. I think we ended up with the better stack of stuff at the end of the day.
Yeah, you can get tvs and old fur coats from the store, but not family photos. Silly fridge magnets can also be hard to find.
Haha jokes on the kid! My grandmother would buy all sorts of crap only use it once then give it to my mom. My mom has it piled away in a store room and when she goes, I’ll add it to my hoard collection. (Were not super hoard-y and can still walk and use all my furnature, etc, we just cant bring ourselves to throw away things that work, in case we need or want them one day / possibly sell them as collectables, even though they’re worth nothing now…) when I go, the kid will inherent 3 generations of crap. Sucker!
Adults having to have adult conversations. Oh no
Millennials are just worn out from Boomers parentifying us as children, then arguing with us for decades, and now still fighting us over decisions that seem obvious and necessary.
They’re exhausting.
I know it’s hard, I’m not trivializing it, but no one (edit adult) should be treated like a child. It only happens to those who let it happen. (The alternative is distancing)
Edit I mean adults shouldn’t be treated like children.
One can feel how one feels, however, the boomer generation’s brains are locked in a time loop. They can’t be changed. It’s like visiting someone with alzheimers. It’s quite sad and frustrating.
Oddly, the silent generation peeps are more adaptable.
Huh? You decide how you are treated. Even by your parents. I’ve had good conversations with my now aged and forgetful parents where I clarify how I want to be spoken to.
Edit not all boomers have Alzheimer’s
As good for me as going no contact would be, I love my parents and do alot to keep them in my life.
A terrible weakness. If only I could be strong like you.
I never said go no contact, edit or that I was some model of strength. I’m just an adult.
Just consistently assert the standards you as an adult want to live in.
I can’t even get folks to use the right pronouns for me. I have no hope of getting my narcissistic mother to treat me as an adult. She won’t even believe me about basic facts about, for example, about how my city’s public transit works (facts listed on a very large poster she could read herself) if they contradict her first impressions.
Sorry, that’s not how it works with people stuck in a loop. It’s a very American problem, if you aren’t American. Not sure if it was the leaded gas, or what, but some people are just broken. The person you want to change needs to want to, and be able to change for your idealism to work. Otherwise you’re just building a delusion around a fixed point to fit your viewpoint while that person remains unchanged.
It’s terribly sad, really.
That’s just ageism, with a nationalist(?) crust.
There’s lots of dumb boomers. There’s lots of Alzheimeric boomers. There’s lots of smart, respectful boomers.
Suggesting an entire generation can’t respect others is junk.
Imagine you subbed out “boomer” for a race. It’d be insane to say.
Tons of boomers have completely accepted 2024, their children, and their choices. You apparently just haven’t met them.
I wonder if the comment you’re replying to applies to the people who downvoted yours.
Or it’s only selective to the people they don’t know yet decided to hate. Sad really.
Hard disagree. Children should be treated as children, not parentified.
I mean adults. I was unclear. Editing.
Some of us do it to help our surviving parent who can’t handle all the stuff the other parent collected.
You actually don’t have to polish silver. It’s anti-bacterial properties still work if it’s tarnished.
But it looks shitty, it’s not nice to eat with black spoons and forks that never look clean.
Goblincore…
Wow, can you imagine having that?
A house that you could put “stuff” into?
Oof.
Seriously, my life has always been downsized.
Going home to parents feels like stepping into a fucking hoarders den, comparatively.
They lived in a different time period. Climate change hadn’t already happened yet, and the USA especially was sitting on top of the world, as the rest of it had been if not quite decimated then at least heavily damaged by all the bombing from WWII. And we were a socialist nation! Schools, roads, bridges, a fully functioning post office, and so much more. The top marginal tax rate was ~90% and… well anyway.
So yeah, like the Kings of Old, they accumulated “stuff”. It made sense to them at the time. Surely nothing would ever like… “change” or anything like that, would it? And they even okayed the dismantling of things like social security, and maintenance of infrastructure - so long as such did not directly impact themselves, it’s all good, right? So long as women also lose bodily autonomy, anything that went along with that is A-okay, r-r-right?!
On the bright side, do younger people have less stress, knowing that they don’t have to save up for retirement, bc they’ll surely die sooner than it would be able to keep up with anyway? Especially with inflation like we’ve seen lately?
Anyway that was quite a tangent wasn’t it? TLDR: people’s lives are so very different now, and look to remain that way permanently. And not just in the USA, but due to Brexit, in the UK too. Disinformation campaigns are strikingly effective.
Happy I have sane parents who consistently downsize and donate without bothering me. We had one conversation where they asked me what I’m interested in. Of course I told them to enjoy their things as they wish.
There was a painting of a beautiful waterfall landscape, painted in 1890, (verified) my grandmother and grandfather bought early in their marriage. I always admired it and it made me think of nostalgic, fond memories of growing up. My dad hated it because that was the formal room he had to sit in for time out. Yoink. It sits in my living room and inspires me every day. A happy trade based on adult conversation.
Context is everything.
Same here. My mom is into the “KonMari” method and it’s a godsend.
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My mom has kept everything from my childhood I mean everything. For a few years she was trying to pass some of it off to me and I kept having to turn down a lot of stuff, it made her feel bad. One day I finally managed to have a proper conversation about it with her. I don’t remember most of my childhood and things like second grade report cards don’t have any context because of it. Those are her memories of me not my memories of me. She finally understood after that and now she keeps what she can and doesn’t feel bad about “robbing” me of anything when she does get rid of stuff. Some heirlooms I’ve been asked about and many of those I accept, or in the case of one larger one I’ve accepted it “if I ever live somewhere that can fit it”
My mom held on to just about everything, but for rid of all my early 90s GI Joe’s and my stack of big box computer games.
My poor poor Sierra collection fine to the charity shop once I moved out.
I’ve managed to hold on to my computer games and even acquired my dad’s collection. GI Joes all went to my niblings though because I didn’t have as much sentimental value for them, same with my Legos and bionicles save for a handful. My pokemon collection recently resurfaced though and my mom handed those off I was pretty excited about that
We have the same mom.
